Truth or Dare
by angel-princess99
Summary: Truth or Dare with the Cullen girls ... and for some reason Emmetts there too ... not sure why ... Any way, first story so read and review. Rated T for safety Next chapter is up! Alice and Jacob are getting married!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi people, Angel-Princess99 here. Just a few things I want to say before I start the story. All of the dares that go on are based off of real dares that my family and I have done before. I was thinking about putting the complete list we've made on my profile, but I'm not sure anyone will read it. Also, don't attempt some of these. My family and I do them when were in a cabin in the woods, far away from civilized society. Some things that we do should not be attempted, like burning books and people at good will donations will look at you oddly if you turn up with a giant thing of expensive clothes. Second, this is my very first story that I've done, so I'm a little nervous. I want people to tell me what I'm doing wrong, so feel free to really yell at me. I want bad reviews and I'll thank you all. Also, bear in mind that to me Rose and Roes are the same things, so whenever I write them, I'm trying to write Rosalie's name.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read my story,**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

"Alice, why are you making a list?" Bella asked, trying to read over Alice's shoulder. Alice grabbed the list and pulled it away.

"It's for us to all do at the sleep over while the boys are away." Alice said, "Don't even bother trying to read it, I wrote it in Danish." Alice added, showing the list to Bella who frowned.

"You wrote 'truth or dare in English," She said. The other girl beamed.

"I thought that you'd want to know to bring a helmet with you, just in case Rose really goes through with the dare to make you jump out of the window (**For the record, it was a window that was very close to the ground with a deep pool next to it and my cousin was not harmed, though I would not recommend on daring a person to do jump out, unless you're playing with a vampire who can survive) **but I don't think she will because she's worried you'll tell Edward when he gets back." Alice said, closing her eyes and smiling at the thought of the dares Rose was planning for Bella.

"That is really comforting Alice. Seriously." Bella said, shaking her head at the other girl who beamed.

"Just one more thing you need to think about Bella." Alice said, suddenly serious. Bella looked surprised at the change in the vampire's mood.

"I love all of my clothes, and please don't make me part with them. Good Will donations can wait. And fires aren't good ideas either." Alice said. Bella looked confused.

"That doesn't make any sense Alice." She said. Alice glared at her.

"Don't touch the clothes Bella, don't touch the clothes." She said. And then her mood changed quickly, out of nowhere. "Anyways, well have a ton of fun tonight. You'll need to bring your P.J.'s, tooth brush and tooth paste, a sleeping bag, some nail polish, a hammer, a helmet and shin guards, a baseball bat, three nail clippers, a bunch of really bad CD's, matches, all of your favorite books, six spare changes of clothes, two scary movies involving vampire's, a hot glue gun, your passport, and do you by any chance have a cannon?" Alice said, listing them so quickly Bella's head was spinning. She gave Alice a shocked look at the cannon comment, but didn't respond.

"You know what, I'll just give you a list I made of what you need. It's in English." She said, handing her a list. Bella relaxed at the size of it and Alice grabbed a notebook out of her back pack. It was thick and stuffed with notes that Alice had written. She paled, holding the book.

"See you tonight Bella! I'll come pick you up later." Alice said, running away at a human pace though the fact that she was practically leaping three feet in the air was enough to make people turn their heads slightly. Bella remained standing in place for the next three minutes before walking to her car and flipping through the list.She ignored the list of things that had the heading 'Human Style Sleep Over' and looked at the list that said 'Vampire Style sleep over'. It had the things that Alice had already listed along with:

_Three posted stamps, three swim suits (_It was winter), _a harpoon, peanut butter, some towels and scissors. P.S, don't worry about the swimsuit, it's not for you, it's for Emmett when he comes. Edward already said that you could get Hypothermia, so we won't make you swim. Well, Esme and I won't at least … not sure about Roes._

Bella stared that the list and sat it down, not bothering to read on. There were a few things copied from the internet on sleep over's and how to make people sleep walk that she didn't really feel like reading. As long as Emmet or Rosalie didn't get their hands on the sleep walking part, she didn't have too much to worry about for the sleep over.

Wait a minute … hadn't Alice said cannon?

**Well, was it bad? F.W.I we don't use cannons … rubber band guns maybe … and maybe a couple of bows and arrows … and there was one time with a shovel and a bunch of rats jumping out in the back yard where when we hit them with the shovel the bounced out of the hole until we realized that the shovel could be turned on its side … but other than that, no cannons or violence happens. Also, don't worry, Emmett will make his appearance later on. I'm not sure how you spell the name, is it with one 't' or two?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I never would have guessed how hard it would be to write while your English teacher is reading over your shoulder. Ha-ha, I think my friend wrote the same thing on her fan fiction while we were working in class. Even though she's (our teacher, not my friend) kind of strict **_**(with girls who spend their time feeding virtual pet rocks on Google instead of working, trust me, the girl in front of be does that while I stare. When I look disgusted, that a sign to the teacher she's doing something she's not supposed to**_**) she considers this a reasonable past time because it (and I quote) "strengths our ability to write" I'm pretty sure she'd be mad if she saw I was writing while she discussed her favorite topic; Poetry.**

**Anyways, I totally don't own Twilight, and unless Stephanie Meyers suddenly has a fit of madness and losses her mind, I never will.**

**Also I think Emmet t with make his appearance in the next chapter, or the one after that. I totally love Emmett to Deluded-but-sane. My friend and I already came up with a ton of great dares for him to do!**

**Oh, and if you don't understand what Alice dares Rosalie to do, wait for the next chapter when Alice makes some brand new rules.**

Chapter 2: Movie Magic

"Alice didn't," Bella gasped, opening the door to the Cullen's home. The entire first room was cleared out. There wasn't anything in the room.

Well … there were about 20 mega-sized cameras, 40 spotlights, and in the corner, six large computers were set up, with a million different wires. In the center of the room was a large rug with four large sleeping bags sitting on it. Rosalie and Esme were sitting on the rugs, watching as Alice moved the large camera's and spotlights until they were all pointing to the rug. The raised area that usually had the piano on it was replaced with what looked oddly like a stage, with strobe lights set up.

"Yes, Bella, I did. The others deserve to see what they were missing. And besides, I had a vision that if I take these down, one will fall on you." Alice said, smiling happily at Bella who walked over to the large sleeping bags. Hers was blue and bedazzled with the word 'BELLA'. When one of the lights hit it, she almost went blind.

"ALICE!" She snapped. Said girl let go of the lights and turned three of them off. It wasn't helpful.

"Bella, Alice decided that, for the sake of everyone reading this, she's going to skip straight to the part they actually want, truth or dare." Esme said. She was reading off a small note card, and she obviously had no idea what Alice was thinking.

"What does she mean 'for the sake of everyone reading this'? " Bella asked, confused. Alice smiled and skipped over.

"The writer told me to say that!" Alice said, shrugging. Rosalie shook her head, upset now.

"'The writer said this, the writer said that. IF the writer tells you to throw Bella of a cliff, will you do it then Alice?" She asked, shaking her head. Alice paused.

"Right now, I don't think we have a choice," She said before pulling out a cell phone and punching in a few numbers.

"Who is she calling?" Bella asked. No one answered and Esme shook her head.

"Okay, the writer said that we are getting really off task, that were acting waaaaaay out of character, and that this is stupid …" Alice said, closing the phone.

"Okay, Alice, what are you doing about the truth or dare thing? Do you have a plan?" Bella asked. Alice disappeared for at least three seconds before coming back with a large bowl, filled with slips of paper.

"Everyone draws a slip of paper on their turn, and can dare whoever they pull." Alice explained. Bella tapped her foot and waited for a few seconds.

"That's the only rule?" She asked.

"Yep. Bella, you're playing with vampires. Our only rule is that you can't dare someone to expose our secret. Oh … I guess that we can make a new rule since you're playing now. Okay, no one can hurt Bella … seriously at least." Alice said, smiling. Bella glared at her.

"Alright, according the Alice, Emmett will be coming soon so we should start now." Esme said, sitting on her pillow. Bella plopped down next to her and Alice started punching random buttons on the computer. The camera's whirled to life and Alice dived into her sleeping bag before resurfacing.

"Okay, because I'm the one who organized this, I get to go first." Alice declared before grabbing a card from the bowl. She didn't even look at it before speaking.

"First dare is for Rosalie. Rosalie, I dare you to … no that one is for later … Okay, well, yours is for later, you can't go within six feet of Emmet when he gets here later." Alice said. Bella shook her head, thinking that wasn't the best dare Alice could have come up with. Alice looked at her and beamed. Bella guessed that there was something that she didn't know that would make Rosalie upset later.

"I agree with the look on Bella's face. Alice, that was really dumb." Rosalie told her. Obviously, the blond didn't agree with Bella's worry.

"We're going in a circle, so its Bella's turn next." Alice said when Rosalie reached for the slips of paper. Rose sat back, and crossed her arms in a huff.

"Umm, mines for Rosalie too." Bella said, wishing she could have gotten anyone else. Alice would wait and not be that mean, Esme would be nice about it, but Rosalie would get revenge.

"Bella, remember out conversation earlier today?" Alice asked, raising her eye brows. Bella thought back.

_Don't touch the clothes Bella. _She had been talking about her clothes then … so maybe she was trying to tell her too…

"Rosalie, I dare you to give all of your clothes to Goodwill!" Bella said. At the same time, Alice screamed 'NO' and Bella realized she had pretty much misinterpreted the meaning of her words. Rosalie looked like she was in shock. Esme poked her and she fell over like a piece of wood.

"Bella, do you know how much you just changed the way tonight is going to go? Why didn't you listen to me?" Alice asked her, shaking her head while Rosalie slowly regained her wits.

"But you were talking about your clothes!" Bella said, shaking her head in anger. Alice glared at her.

"_**The**_ clothes should refer to any one's clothes!" Alice wailed. Rosalie was standing up and Alice picked her phone up.

"Yes, this is Alice Cullen. Go ahead and bring in the truck." She sighed. Rosalie glared at her, but she went up to her room, coming back with a tower of clothes. She sat them on the floor and walked back up. Then she brought more clothes. Then she walked back up. Then she brought more clothes … and over and over and over again. Most of the cameras were blocked by clothes.

"The truck is here. Bella, go tell the drivers that they're going to need to help us." Alice said, standing by the window.

About an hour later

"Okay, then, that's the last of it, minus what we need for the rest of the dares." Alice said, sitting down. About twelve items of clothing were left that still belonged to Rosalie. The truck drivers were standing and looking at the clothes in amazement.

"Bye-Bye then, that should be all we need you for tonight." Esme told the drivers who got in their car and left. Rosalie was seething and glaring at Bella. Alice had her eyes closed, thinking about the new dares everyone was coming up with.

"Umm, Rosalie … I guess it's your turn now." Alice said. Rosalie picked up a card.

"What the hell Alice? A blank card? Did you plan this?" Rosalie wailed. Alice sighed and sat back, grinning.

"Okay, then, Esme, your turn." She said. Rosalie was staring at her in shock, her mouth wide open. Alice smiled back at her, at total peace.

"You know what Alice –"Rosalie began before Esme cut her off.

"Don't fight Rosalie, it's just one turn. You said you weren't even that excited about the game when Alice told you." Esme pointed out. Rosalie sat back in a huff and crossed her arms.

"Okay, then, I got Alice." Esme said when she picked the card. Alice paused, before relaxing.

"Alice… I dare you to … let Bella and Rosalie throw rocks at your Porsche." Esme said. Alice's jaw fell to her neck as she waited. Apparently, Esme had changed her mind at the very last second. Rosalie looked thrilled and Bella was faintly surprised.

"Wow Esme … since when have you been so … evil?" Bella asked, confused.

"Bella, how many times as Alice mentioned that car to you?" Esme asked. Bella paused before Alice answered first, "37".

"She's been going easy on you then. Rosalie and I have heard about her car about ………………… well, to put it nicely, we lost count. And we have perfect memories." Esme told her. Alice glared and picked up a portable camera.

"Don't worry about it Bella. I'm sure that something will happen to the Volvo, and the BMW is definitely going to be either burned, pushed off a cliff, or smashed sometime tonight. I'm not that sure about the Jeep." Alice said, not looking as happy as she sounded. Bella walked out to the garage and blinked at the amount of rocks Rosalie had gathered in about three seconds. She had gotten boulders for herself, and smaller ones for Bella. Rosalie grabbed a bolder and hurled it. Alice wailed and Bella picked up a smaller rock. She got a little closer to the car and threw it.

_**CRASH**_

"Oh shit." Bella gasped. To no one's surprise she had missed completely. She was, like, a mile off her set mark. And the Porsche wasn't even that small.

But, being her, she had hit the side of the Volvo, which was probably going to be totaled due to the fact that the rock had wiped out the steering wheel (**FWI, I know a total of nothing about cars, so if something like that is really minor damage, just think of the worst possible thing that could happen to the car, and then multiply it by then). **Rosalie looked like it was Christmas.

"Bella, you're strong enough to do some seriously damage. Now turn this way, and when you throw it, it will probably hit the right car." She said, glancing towards her own car in worry. Alice looked much happier. Bella threw a second rock and it hit the Porsche. Alice was upset again. Rosalie picked up another bolder, and threw it. Bella picked another rock and it hit the Porsche. But, of course, something went flying and hit the jeep.

"Alice, did you make sure it was going to do this ahead of time?" Bella asked. Alice shook her head.

"No, it's not my fault you have bad luck. My car is effectively destroyed, so we can go inside and see what Rosalie can come up with," Alice turned and stomped off in a huff. Rosalie looked at the car before throwing another bolder and walking away. Bella looked at the jeep and the Volvo before following Esme inside.

**Next time, Rosalie gets to dare Bella. And well, Bella's going to cry a little! Also, Alice gets to change the rules around … because … she's just like that!**


	3. Rules aren't made to be broken

**Well, complete boredom allowed me to write another chapter in one day. Normally, it may take a little longer!**

Chapter 3: Rule's are Made to be Broken. Unless there Made by Alice

"Rosalie it's, your turn." A still angry looking Alice said as she put the portable camera on a stand. She sat down on her sleeping bag and crossed her legs as Rosalie picked a card out of the bowl in the center. She smiled happily.

"Bella, do you know how long it's going to take me to replace all of my clothes?" She asked sweetly. Bella shook her head numbly. She guessed that all you had to do was hand her a credit card and leave her alone in a mall somewhere in LA. By about twenty minutes, she guessed the closet would be crammed full again.

"Umm, a while?" She guessed. Rosalie nodded.

"Its going to take a very long while Bella. But, I'm sure you'll be busy trying to find new books at the same time."

"OOOHH, so that was what I stole – umm, brought – all of Bella's books here! Oops." Alice said from where she was sitting. "Bella, you're not going to touch the clothes, are you?" She asked. Bella shook her head and her voice matched Rosalie's as she spoke sweetly.

"No, of course I'm not. I promised not to touch them, didn't I?" She said. Alice breathed a sigh of relief and then stopped, tensing.

"I don't remember promising not to dare someone to destroy them for me. I'm sure a vampire could get rid of clothes much faster than I could." She said, glaring. Alice ran upstairs and for a second, Bella thought she was fleeing.

Then she came back with all of Bella's favorite books in her arms. Alice walked over; grabbed one of the camera's and swung it around so that it faced the fireplace. Bella wondered where the fireplace had come from, seeing as it hadn't been there a second ago. (**Remember, all the recording and video equipment that Alice had set up.) **Then, she picked up the books and tossed them in one at a time (**at this point, I have the compelling urge to quote from the book ****Fahrenheit 451 ****written by Ray Bradbury which is all about burning books …, but I'll save you the pain I suffered. The book – was not that so bad. The teacher commentary … pure pain) **Bella, pouting slightly, sat back and waited, glaring.

"Okay, since we've all gone once, I think it's time for some new rules." Alice said, sitting back down and throwing Bella an apologetic look. Rosalie looked pleased and Esme looked confused at Alice's comment.

"You said there were no rules, other than no exposing." Bella said. If this rule turned out to be something against burning books, Alice was dead. And by that, Bella meant her Porsche and clothes were dead.

"The new rule is that if you go back on a dare, that you were given, no matter when it was given, then you have to spray paint your skin your least favorite color." Alice explained. Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she thought of something that she wasn't willing to do. There wasn't anything she could think of. She smiled and nodded, wondering what color Bella would end up. (**Remember Rosalie's dare from the other chapter!!!! She's not thinking of it!) **Alice waited, wondering if there would be any objections.

"Great, it's settled!" She said before Rosalie could see her mistake. Suddenly, she stiffened and turned around. "Oh, just in time!" She said. Bella, Esme and Rosalie, looked confused before the two vampires smiled and nodded. Bella looked in between them, confused.

"What's just in time? No one just dropped off a load of paint, did they?"She asked. Alice smiled and shook her head.

"You're late Emmett!" Rosalie called to the door, grinning slightly. Alice disappeared and reappeared with an army styled sleeping bag that she put next to Rosalie's. Bella groaned and fell back on her sleeping bag.

"Oh great, knowing him he'll dare me to walk on a tightrope, and then laughed when I fall." She sighed just as Emmett came into the room. Alice went running to a button on the wall and pressed it so that every last camera in the room swung around and focused dramatically on Emmett who was standing in the doorway, beaming.

**And, he's here! Emmett makes his appearance. Also, he hasn't seen the damage inflicted on his prized Jeep. Next time, no one will get spray painted, but that doesn't mean the cars are going to have it easy! What do you think Rosalie's least favorite color would be?**


	4. Emmett, Flamethrowers, and clothes

**Emmett makes his appearance! And there's also going to be some streaking and a flamethrower, not the mention a mountain of clothes! And Esme compliantly losses it!**

Emmett appears!!!

"Oh great, Emmett came." Bella sighed while Alice used the cameras to get a close up on his face. Emmett smiled like a Cherish Cat.

"Don't worry, Alice already told me that you'd fall if I dare you to walk across a tightrope! And besides, I thought up way better dares!" He said, sitting down on his sleeping bag. Alice beamed and sat down.

"Emmett can go last!" She said, leaning over and pulling another card out of the bag. Bella – Dang. She was hoping for Rosalie.

"Fine, Bella. Well, I don't know … go … run around the neighborhood screaming you hate Edward Cullen. Oh, and you have to streak." Alice said, upset. Bella's eyes widened and she glared. Esme grabbed Bella a towel and walked outside. Emmett was laughing and turned to Alice.

"Which street does that Newton kid live on?" He asked Alice who looked happier then Rosalie had during the rock throwing.

"Do not video tape this!" She snapped when they were in the car. She was sitting, (no seat belt, duh) in the back of the seat, wearing a towel and glaring at Alice. They were in Rosalie's car because the Porsche was pretty much destroyed. Alice would probably find a mechanic once the game was over.

"I'm videotaping everything! You're lucky I didn't drag a giant spotlight down here. And, you're going to do a ton of better dares that are going to make this one look boooooorring!" Alice said, still smiling. Bella thought about telling her that her face would freeze that way.

"Here we go! Have fun Bella." Emmett said, turning around and laughing. Bella glared at him, not seeing which street they were on in the dark.

"I HATE EDWARD CULLEN, I HATE EDWARD CULLEN, I HATE EDWARD CULLEN," Bella said, running. From inside one of the houses, they heard Mike to "YES!" Bella, upset, walked back to the car and turned off the camera.

"You! Clothes! Burned!" Alice smiled as Bella grabbed the towel, put it on and jumped in the back of the car.

"Alice stop by the church." Emmett said from the back of the car. Esme looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

"I need holy water for my eyes! Don't blame me, blame Bella!" Emmett whined.

"Stop whining Emmett, you're almost fifty. (**FWI, I have no idea, I just know that he was born a long time ago. No offense to anyone who's fifty or above) **When the game, is over, you're grounded for being a big meanie!" Esme said, sounding like she was talking to a two year old. Emmett looked at her, wondering if she was serious or kidding.

"You just told me I was fifty! You can't ground me!" He said. Esme glared at him.

"I said that _you _should be mature, I never said I had to be." She said, turning back around to the front and glaring as they swung back in the drive (Emmett hasn't seen his car's injury yet).

"Esme always starts acting like a spoiled brat when we're playing games with her," Emmett stage-whispered. Bella looked forward to see Esme's reaction, but she was gone. The garage door was closed, but the door into it was open slightly. Alice giggled before putting the car in reverse and going back quickly. She pulled into the street just as Emmett's Jeep went flying through the garage … taking the whole garage door with it … and landing where they had just been sitting.

Emmett looked like he was going to throw up, which wasn't exactly possible. Bella looked at the car and smiled, figuring that now he could see the damage she had inflicted on it.

"I AM NOT A SPOILED BRAT!!!!!!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE FACT I KNEW YOU WOULD HUMILIATE YOURSELF WITH THE DARES, YOU WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEAD!!" Esme was standing at the door, hands on her hips.

"I don't think he heard you." Rosalie muttered, looking at Emmett who seemed in a trance. Bella got out of the car and followed Esme into the brightly lit, studio style room. Alice was already sitting there, perched on her sleeping bag. Bella and Esme sat on theirs and Rosalie came in a little later, dragging Emmett a long side of her. His jaw was still slightly unhinged, and his eyes were disproportionally large compared to the rest of his face.

"Bella, it's your turn." Rosalie said, sitting down on the sleeping bag and crossing her legs. Alice looked like she was dying to say something, but she kept her mouth shut and only looked slightly silly.

"Wait, Emmett's name isn't in the basket yet." Bella said.

"I already put him in while everyone else was outside. There are more with his name in the basket than any others." Alice said. Esme squealed and rolled on her back, kicking her legs in the air happily.

"YIPPPIIEEEE!" She squealed. Bella looked surprised but the others were used to how babyish she got when they played games.

"Esme, are you okay?" Bella asked. Esme nodded happily and sat back up, beaming. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Draw your card Bella. Oh, and I would recommend going very easy on the person who you draw." Alice advised. Bella rolled her eyes and picked the card out of the basket. She looked at it briefly.

"Alice. Let's see … why should I go easy on you! Get your clothes down here, and give Emmett a flame blower!" She said, smiling slightly. Emmett heard that. He sat up and grinned.

"Can I really get a flame thrower?" Emmett asked, pleased. Bella nodded and he disappeared before reappearing with a large, pink flamethrower.

"So that's why Alice bought it for me." He said. Alice was upset now, but she, Rosalie, and Esme went upstairs to get Alice's clothes. Bella turned on the camera and got a flash light.

"We'll, I left some upstairs for later on in the game. Emmett will have fun burning this." She said once everything was sitting on the front lawn. The stack of clothes was slightly smaller than Rosalie's had been. It came only a foot about Bella's head, while Rosalie's pile had been two Bella's.

"Sweet!" He said before turning it on. Alice glared the burned clothes, which made a pretty sparkly fire. All that was left was a pile of beads and other little decoration's that hadn't burned. Emmett, on the bright side, seemed to have forgotten all about his lost car.

"Why did you have to do that?" Alice whined as the stomped back up the stairs. She was pretty upset.

"Let's see, do you remember what you dared me to do?" Bella said, glaring at her before sitting back down. "You're lucky that was all I did to you." She told her as Esme, grinning wickedly, ran back inside with Rosalie and Emmett in tow.

"My turn, my turn, my turn!" She sang, clapping her hands together and laughing evilly. Bella leaned back and even the others looked slightly surprised.

**Next time, Esme get's her craaaaazy turn and everyone's going green … but not in the environmental sense. **


	5. Emmett goes green

**Well … to put it nicely … Esme totally goes off the rocker!**

**Angelgenius … I can't make any promises for the Volvo, sorry! And don't call me Brookie.**

Going Green! Not just for the planet!

Esme picked the card out of the bowl. She squealed (again) and clapped her hands together. Emmett saw his name and wondered whether Alice would stop him if he made a run for it. She was probably really looking forward to this, so he knew he was going to have to do what Esme said.

"Emmett, I dare you to cover yourself in green paint and run around screaming 'I'm an alien!'" She crowed. Emmett waited for a long moment and everyone looked at Esme, waiting for her to say something like, 'just kidding'. She just kept grinning and waiting. After about five minutes, everyone realized that she was serious.

"Why green?" Bella asked, confused. Emmett glared at her.

"Why did you ask that? You could have asked her what happened to her mind, or when she completely lost it, or why I have to be an alien." He complained.

"Because aliens are always all green and they make funny noises, and they always have little antennas. " Esme said, laughing. Rosalie was wondering whether Emmett would still look hot when he had green skin.

"That's kind of stereotypical coming from a vampire who doesn't die in the sun." Bella told her while Alice came back with a can of spray paint. Emmett took his shirt off and Alice covered him in two coats of spray paint.

"And I think people will mistake him for the Hulk." Bella said confidently. Rosalie nodded and was wondering how she would look with green nail polish and whether a green T-shirt would clash with her hair. Predictable

"Not if he has an antenna!" Esme screamed, holding up a … antenna. It was a head band with a long cord going up and a large black ball on the end.

………………………

…………

………………………………

"I'm sorry, but I really can't think of anything to say about that." Alice said, shaking her head. The entire room was stunned speechless for a long time.

"This thing keeps getting in front of my face!" Emmett wailed as the ball dangled in front of him.

"Look on the bright side, people won't be able to see who it is." Bella pointed out. She was using her own camera to take pictures while Alice was trying to get all angles with the cameras.

"Now he looks like a really stupid version of the Hulk." Bella said, looking at the pictures she had taken. Emmett glared at her.

"Come on, back in the car!" Alice called, walking by the remains of Emmett's car as though they weren't even there. She got in Rosalie's car which, at the moment, was the only one completely unscathed.

"NOOOOOOO, WAIT!" Esme wailed as Bella, Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett left, leaving her standing in the drive way.

"Are you sure we shouldn't bring her?" Bella looked back over her shoulder. She was more worried that Esme would destroy the house while they were gone than her following them.

"Of course we're sure. If she came, she would probably run around in circles screaming her head off! And we do have the video to show her." Rosalie sighed, shaking her head as the pulled into a busy street. Even though it was almost night time, people were still on the streets of the small town. They pulled into an alley way so no one would see Emmett getting out.

"Okay Emmett, you and I are going to going to go out and you do what Esme dared. I'm going to go get the video footage." Alice said. Rosalie and Bella sat in the car as the other two got out and walked to the street.

"So, how's it going?" Bella asked, tapping her foot.

"I'M AN ALIEN! I AM AN ALIEN! OW, WHAT THEY HECK ARE YOU! HEY!" They heard the sound of metal hitting something … most likely Emmett.

"Good. The games okay I guess. How about you?

"ALICE, HELP! ROSALIE, BELLA, COME ON! THIS IS SO NOT – OKAY LADY, YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT BAT IS OBVIOUSLY _NOT HURTING ME SO JUST STO – OH COME ON!" _No one came to his rescue. Alice was laughing a few feet away.

"You know, I thought it was going to be a lot worse, but it's actually kind of fun. You know, in a weird, kind of creepy sort of way." Bella responded, not paying attention to the yelling.

"ESME, YOU ARE SO DEAD! IT'S STILL NOT HURTING ME! WILL YOU STOP THAT?"

"Yeah, it is kind of creepy. I love the whole clothes burning part though. Sorry about your books, but you were asking for it. I was thinking of some good dares for Alice – EMMETT, WILL YOU SHUT UP OUT THERE! WE ARE TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION AND YOU'RE TOTALLY MESSING IT UP!" Rosalie yelled, poking her head out the car window. Alice dragged an unnerved looked Emmett back into the car. His antenna was broken so there wasn't a ball on the end anymore. Instead it was just a cord going straight up in the air, which looked even more stupid than it had with the ball.

"What happened to that poor bat?" Bella asked, picking up a discarded base ball bat. It was metal and there was a large dent in it that looked faintly … Emmett shaped. Bella giggled and Alice turned around to zoom her camera in on it.

"Some crazy old lady hit me with the bat! It wasn't my fault!" Emmett whined.

"Yes it was! You called Esme a brat; you know she's going to do something." Rosalie snapped as they started driving again.

"An old lady did this? Alice, can I see the tape?" Bella asked.

"No, of course not! You can watch the movie later though." Alice said, holding her camera as far away from Bella as possible.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE ME?" Esme wailed when they pulled into the drive way. She had changed into pink PJ's with big bunny slippers and was holding a giant pink teddy bear under one arm.

"Well, at least I'm not the stupidest looking person anymore." Emmett said, taking of the remains of the 'antenna'.

"You broke it! Why did you have to break it! I loved that antenna!" Esme wailed, hugging the object.

"I didn't break it, some crazy lady with a baseball bat did!" Emmett yelled. Rosalie shook her head.

"You can't reason with crazy people, or crazy vampires." She said. Bella and Alice walked back inside.

"YOU BROKE IT! WHY EMMETT, HOW COULD YOU?" Esme wailed as both Rosalie and Emmett dragged her inside the house. They were both taller than she was, so she was kicking her feet in the air, which wasn't doing anything.

"Rosalie, it's your turn now." Alice said once they had Esme calmed down (a little) and sitting on her sleeping bag.

"I don't see how I could top what Emmett just went through." She said.

"Then I'll go again!" Esme squealed, raising her hand as high as possible. Everyone looked at her and shook their heads.

"I want my pink bunny ears!" She wailed.

"What?" Everyone said at the same time. She ran out of the room and came back, wearing large floppy pink bunny ears.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Now you can go!" She said, hugging her teddy bear and sitting back down. No one moved.

"Okaaaaay then. Ummmm, Rosalie, go ahead." A still green Emmett said. Rosalie nodded and picked her card up.

"Wait I second. Alice, I got my own name!" She said.

"That means that we all work together to come up with an idea for your dare." Alice said.

"No one said that would happen!" She said, shocked.

"Well, you know now." Alice said.


	6. Four Heads are Better than Rosalie's

**Now, while the Volvo won't be touched, Rosalie's car is going down!**

**I don't own Twilight (DUH)**

Four Head's are Better than Rosalie's

"Rosalie, out of the room while we come up with something. And don't even think of running!" Alice said, standing up. Rosalie stormed out of the room and went up to her own, sitting down on the bed and sulking.

"So, what are we going to make her do?" Alice asked, sitting back down and facing the other three. Bella's hand shot up.

"I saw we leave her here and go get something to eat!" She said. No one paid her attention seeing as they didn't need to eat.

"I say we don't do anything to her!" Esme said, bouncing up and down while her bunny ear's flopped.

"That is soooo stupid!" Emmett told her, rolling his eyes. Esme grabbed a metal pole from out of nowhere and hit him on the head with it.

"No, it's not! We paint her car neon yellow with bright green highlights!" Esme said, striking a super-girl pose.

"So, what should we do?" Alice asked, turning her back on Esme and turning to the other too.

"I kind of like Esme's idea." Bella told her. Alice stamped her foot.

"But I wanted to do that! Fine, I'll go get the balloons." She said, storming off.

"Balloons? Alice, not one person said anything about balloons!" Esme screamed so loudly, Rosalie must have heard her without even trying. Alice turned around and put her hands on her waist.

"Everyone go out in the garage. I'll get Rosalie and the balloons. You'll understand later." Alice said, sniffing and stalking off. Bella walked to the car and Emmett dragged Esme out.

"YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN IT! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN IT!!" Esme wailed loudly.

"Bella, did Alice tell you to bring a straight jacket?" Emmett asked innocently. Bella glared.

"Why would I own one?" She demanded.

"No reason."

"We're here! Come on, let's throw!" Bella turned around as Alice and Rosalie came down, holding a crate of pain filled balloons.

"I WANNA THROW, I WANNA THROW!" Esme squealed, running to the crate. Alice and Rosalie pushed her away and Emmett held her back.

"I'm the only one who can ruin my car unless Bella wants to throw some. I don't care if someone else's car (the only car's left are Carlisle Mercedes and Edwards slightly damaged Volvo) gets hit with a balloon." Rosalie said, grabbing a balloon and hurling it. It was a yellow one and it hit the red car, dead on. She picked up another one and it was green. The colors looked like snot.

"EWWWWWW!" Emmet, Bella, and Esme said together. Rosalie made a choking sound and threw another balloon, and another, and another, and another.

"No, it's on the interior!" Rosalie wailed as she was getting to the end of the balloons.

"I looks … gross." Emmett said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"NO, IT WOULD LOOK WORSE IF I PAINTED IT!" Esme said. She seemed to not know what the words 'inside voice' meant anymore.

"I'm done. Are you all happy now?" Rosalie demanded. Emmett started laughing and she pulled the last balloon. She threw it at him and thankfully, it was green.

"Wow that did a lot." Esme mumbled.

"Come on, Emmett, it's your turn." Alice said, looking at the now hideous car. Esme did six cartwheels and ran through the door. The others just walked.

"Please don't be Esme, please don't be Esme, please don't let me pick Esme." Emmett muttered under his breath as he picked up his car. Alice smiled, but she was also waiting for her turn.

"Esme." Emmett said, dropping his head in defeat. Esme screamed and went back in her super girl pose.

"Yes, do anything, I'm not afraid." She said, jumping up and down. Alice was working the cameras again so that the words "SUPER GIRL" appeared on the screen.

"Why, why, why, why, why?" Emmett whispered over and over again.

"Emmett, just give her a dare and get it over with." Alice said, shaking her head impatiently. She was waiting for her turn and so the sooner they got this over with, the better.

"Idareyoutodyeyourhairpink!" Emmett said in a rush, hoping that she wouldn't get upset. Esme paused, working his words out.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!! I GET TO HAVE PINK HAIR AND YOU DON'T! ONLY ME, ONLY ME, ONLY ME!"Esme squealed. Emmett looked at her in surprise.

"Here's the pink dye. That's weird, in my vision; it was Emmett who got to have pink hair." Alice said in an absentminded tone. Emmett glared at her, but they set up the hair dye station.

"YEAH!" She squealed looking in the mirror. Her hair matched her pink P.J's, pink bunny ears (which she was now putting back on) and a pink teddy bear.

"I WANT PINK EYES! SOMEONE GIVE ME CONTACTS!" She said, throwing a temper tantrum, complete with kicking and screaming.

"No Esme, it's my turn!" Alice said, frowning. She sat back down and grabbed the paper from the bowl.

"Rosalie, yes, finally! I dare you to hug Emmett!" Alice said, looking happier than Esme.

"Alice, that's not a dare!" Rosalie said, confused.

"Yes it is! Remember your first dare? You can't touch Emmett! So, when you hug him, we get to color you and if you don't we get to color you!" Alice said. Rosalie was thinking hard, trying to find a loophole. None

"So, when can we make her an ugly color?" Esme asked, clueless.

"Not only does she get crazy, she also get's dumb." Emmett told Bella. He ducked as a flaming long went flying past him. Thankfully, the floor was stone so the hose didn't burn down.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Esme demanded. Emmett was finding it hard to be afraid of a short, pink haired, bunny-eared, teddy bear holding, and pink P.J. wearing girls standing in front of him.

"It means you can make her an ugly color now Esme." Bella told her. She squealed in a pitch so high the window broke and somewhere a dolphin freaked out and grabbed Rosalie, running out of the room

"Where is she going?" Emmett asked, standing up and running after them. Alice dragged Bella so fast her feet weren't touching the ground.

"Oh. My. God." Bella whispered. Esme was rubbing Rosalie against her still wet car.

"ESME IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN IN THE NEXT – EWWWW, I GOT PAINT IN MY MOUTH!" Rosalie yelled. Emmett looked torn between helping and laughing. Alice was zooming in with her camera and Bella looked shocked.

"There's something wrong with this." She said, shaking her head.

Rosalie was only half painted. She half streaked with green/dash/yellow/dash/snot colored but she was half still her natural complexion.

"I think this is ten times better than what I thought it would be." Alice said, sounding blissfully happy.

"Bella's turn!"

Next time: Demi Lavato fans Beware! Emmett goes La La Land


	7. La La Land Emmett WEIRD

**Everyone remember the second chapter when it's describing what Alice did to the house? It mentions that the place where the piano usually is has been set up like a stage. With a crazy Esme, a ruin Porsche, a horrible colored BMW and a freaky colored Rosalie, what's left to do but break in the stage?**

**I don't own the song La La Land by Demi Lavato, and I don't own Twilight**

La La Land + Emmett = weird

"Bella's turn," Alice said. Bella leaned forward and picked up the card.

"Emmett." She said.

'Why always me?' he thought

"Umm … Emmett … Why not you have to dance to La La Land and dress like she did in the music video." She said (**I'm thinking of the dress and wig in that weird commercial, but with converse instead of whatever she was wearing) **looking at the stage that Alice had set up in the corner. Alice was up in a second and looking at the different buttons to use.

"Okay, we can do that. I have a bright bubble gum pink colored background we can use! And the outfit is upstairs. Do you know how hard it was to find one?" Alice said while Rosalie went upstairs to get the outfit, which Alice had modified to fit Emmett.

"Why didn't you tell me I'd have to do this?" He asked.

"Because we knew you'd say no and wouldn't come. DUH?" Esme said her first intelligent thing she had said all evening (if you took out the duh part). "I wanna dance with the pink screen!" And the intelligence was over –poof-

"Do I actually have to wear that?" Emmett looked repulsed by the pink dress.

"What's so bad about it? It could be worse … I think." Rosalie said, handing it to Emmett.

"Yeah, you'll look like a drag queen version of the hulk." Bella said.

"Aww, the green and pink are gonna clash." Emmett whined.

"Funny, that's seems more like something Rosalie would have said." Alice called from where she was setting the green screen up and searching every pink back ground that the internet had to offer.

"We aren't going to show this to anybody, are we?" Bella asked, looking at the current screen. It was a starry sky, but the stars were bright pink.

"We'll, I was thinking that some of the people at school would like to see this, but if it makes Emmett unhappy, then maybe we can get a news station to show it to all of America." Alice said, beaming at Emmett who was standing on the stage. Bella had the feeling she would never be able to look at Emmett with a straight face again.

"Esme can you watch the sound board for me … what are you doing?" Alice said. Esme was dancing in place, singing 'Little bunny Fu-Fu'.

"Umm … We're going to edit this part out of the final movie. We want to make people laugh, not disturb them mentally." Alice said. Rosalie walked over to the sound board to do it herself.

"AND A-ONE AND A-TWO!" Esme said, still dancing in place. Emmett glared at her, but started singing anyways

**But I still have my moments  
Baby, that's just me  
I'm not a supermodel  
I still eat McDonald's  
Baby, that's just me**

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine  
Machine, machine 

"Umm … how is it he has so many dance steps in his head?" Bella asked.

"Oh, he dances to it in his room all the time. Just … not in the dress." Rosalie called from the soundboard. ****

Who said I can't wear my  
Converse with my dress  
Well, baby, that's just me [ah]  
Who says I can't be single  
And have to go out and mingle  
Baby, that's not me

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
'cause of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land...

Tell me, do you feel the way I feel  
'Cause nothing else is real  
In the la-la land machine 

"OOOO, pretty." Esme said as Alice changed back grounds to being a bright pink machine with the words 'La La Land' written on it.

"Where is she getting this from?" Bella whispered to herself.

"I had ways Bella, I have ways." ****

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine

Well, I'm not gonna change  
In the la-la land machine  
Well, I will stay the same  
In the la-la land machine

Machine  
Machine  
I won't change anything in my life  
I won't change anything in my life  
I'm staying myself tonight  
I'm staying myself tonight  
La, la, la, la, 

The current back ground behind Emmett was a pink forest with a bunch of bunny's hopping around. It was Esme's heaven.

**I am confident  
But I still have my moments  
Baby, that's just me  
I'm not a supermodel  
I still eat McDonald's  
Baby, that's just me**

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I 

**"**Jasper is never going to let him live this down." (**I just realized, this is the first time I mentioned Jasper. I forgot about him. He didn't only have about four lines in the move) **Alice said from where she was standing. She seemed very, very pleased with herself.

**  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine  
Machine, machine**

Who said I can't wear my  
Converse with my dress  
Well, baby, that's just me [ah]  
Who says I can't be single  
And have to go out and mingle  
Baby, that's not me

Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
'cause of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land...

Tell me, do you feel the way I feel  
'Cause nothing else is real  
In the la-la land machine  


"I wanna be a back up dancer!" Esme screeched, jumping in front of Emmett and dancing. Rosalie ran forward and grabbed her wrist, pulling her off the stage. She was going to use this against Emmett one day, and she was not going to let Esme ruin it.

**  
Well, some may say I need to be afraid  
Of losing everything  
Because of where I  
Had my start and where I made my name  
Well, everything's the same  
In the la-la land machine**

Well, I'm not gonna change  
In the la-la land machine  
Well, I will stay the same  
In the la-la land machine 

**"**WAAAAAA, I DIDN'T GET TO DANCE!" Esme wailed on the final part of the song. Alice shook her head, wondering if Esme would dare someone to make her dance.****

Machine  
Machine  
I won't change anything in my life  
I won't change anything in my life  
I'm staying myself tonight  
I'm staying myself tonight  
La, la, la, la, la

Emmett finished in a pose that the dress totally wasn't designed for.

RIIIIPPPP

"This was the best dare yet." Alice said while Rosalie threw Emmett a robe.

"What, I thought you liked the alien one I did." Esme wailed, looking way to upset.

"Yes Esme, that was very nice." Bella told her soothingly.

"YAY! Now it's my turn!" She squealed running back and dive bombing her sleeping back. There was a crack in the floor where her head had hit.

"Oh God No." Emmett sighed, sitting down next to her.


	8. Esme really loses it

**Just for the record, my friend, Im-an-angelgenius was getting on to me about this. It was her idea to use the alien dare! **

**I don't own Twilight and now even the alien dares not mine *sniff* **

**I think I'm going to cry …**

**Oh, wait no I'm not because its - **

Esme's Dare!

Esme leaned forward and grabbed her card. She beamed and clapped her hands, rolling onto her back and looking kind of like a dying cockroach.

"Bella, I dare you to go kiss with Mike Newton and Alice get's to dress you!" She squealed, clapping her hands together and looking like she was queen of the world

A list of things about Esme when she's hyper

-crazy

-easily angered

-slightly dumb

-no, scratch that really dumb

-and now, just plain suicidal

-but also very creative

-and devious

"Okay … was that two dares?" Bella said, confused.

"No rules against it!" She declared beaming. Alice was debating something in the future. Bella guessed she was trying to figure out how Edward was going to react.

"Okay, well, if that's the way it's going to be, Rosalie, remember that outfit we saved, for the special dare?" Alice said, smirking. Rosalie beamed and rushed upstairs to get the 'outfit'.

Apparently the 'outfit' deserved the quotation marks around it. It was a short shirt with no sleeves and a low cut neck and a mini skirt that could easily double as a belt.

"Good luck Bella!" Emmett said, laughing slightly. Every female in the room turned and glared at him.

"At least I'm not green and I don't rip skirts when I wear them." She said pointedly before walking out to the last car standing – the Mercedes. No one was going to be caught dead in the snot green BMW, the Volvo had the broken steering wheel, and the Porsche was … yeah.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much." Bella grumbled in the back seat, glaring at Alice's head.

"Why me, it was Esme's dare?" She wailed, looking back at Bella and frowning.

"Because you could have chosen jeans and a normal shirt, but no, you have to choose this and go along with her plan!"

"You make me sound so evil." Esme said, frowning and crossing her arms over her chest. A bunch of dagger glares at Esme.

Alice was beaming in the front seat, tossing her camera from one hand to the other.

"This is going to be a blockbuster!" She sighed, crossing her legs and sitting back, smiling happily.

"Here we go, have fun Bella!" Alice said, giggling using the zoom button on her camera to its full potential. Bella glared and stormed out of the car.

"WAIT!" Esme shrieked, standing up and jumping from the car. Alice looked at her, surprised and Emmett almost fell over from where he was sitting.

"Yes Esme?" Rosalie said, looking half scared half amused.

"I've decided that I want to get a blue bunny!" She said before sitting back down in the car.

"And here I thought she couldn't get any weirder." Emmet said, shaking his head.

"Shut up or you'll be the one kissing Mike." Esme glared at Emmett.

Bella shook her head before walking up the steps. Alice was leaning out the car in an effort to get a closer view.

"Alice, back in the car." Rosalie said as Alice leaned herself the entire way out. Esme was holding her ankles in the car, and the rest of Alice was outside the car.

"Do you want to see Edwards face when he sees this?" Alice demanded when Bella rang the door bell. Rosalie paused for a second, thinking it over. Then she smiled

"Esme push her out a little more and hold her feet."

"YAY!" She squealed, holding Alice by her feet and pushing her out a little more.

"Bella?" Mike said, when he answered the door.

"Hi Mike." She said, leaning forward and kissed him.

"We're so dead when the others get back." Alice sighed. Esme had completely dropped her and she was doing an army crawl closer to the house to get a better view.

"But, until then, this is going to be so fun to play with on the computer when we get home." Alice said as Bella shut the door and stormed back to them. She gave Alice, who was still lying on the ground and walked over her, wishing they had put her in high heels. She got in the car; still glaring at the face planted Alice.

"Let's go back to the house." She ordered as Alice got in the car, brushing the grass stains from her face.

"Yeah, its Rosalie's turn next!" She said, smiling slightly.

"Which means that Alice should be scared." Rosalie said, frowning at Alice who looked confused.

"Why me?"

"You're the reason I'm streaked with this hideous green color! If I get you, you're going down and if I don't get you, I'll dare someone to take you down. That simple." Rosalie said.


	9. Of Brides and Heartbreakers

**Chapter 9 time. See, technically, I shouldn't be writing right now because our science teacher gets reaaaaaaaaly mad when we do other work in her class. But I just can't pay attention, not possible.**

**I love messing up relationships. My lifelong dream is to go back in time and destroy Romeo and Juliet because it's just so much fun!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

_**P.S. please review people! I'm competing with my friend to see who can get more review's in one week and if I lose … we'll I'm not sure what will happen, but it can't be good!!**_

Alice break's Jasper's heart!

Rosalie picked up her card and beamed, turning to Alice. She had picked Alice's card, and was now smiling happily.

"Hmmm, let's see." She said, thinking hard. Alice was waiting as the future changed repeatedly between different dares, each one worse than the one before it. She finally stopped and Alice pouted.

"You suck Rosalie." Alice said, folding her arms over her chest and glaring.

"My dare for Alice is that she has to call Jasper and tell him that she doesn't love him anymore, she loves … … …. …. Jacob!" (**See, I haven't mentioned either of the boys very much in the story, so I think it's about time I did! It took me forever to come up with Jacob, but I'd figure it would work)**. There was a lot of different looks on the faces of the people (person really, and a few vampires) around her.

Emmett – shock and amusement

Bella – disgust and shock

Esme – She wasn't paying attention, she was thinking about a cookie … which is kind of weird because she would never eat them …

Alice – horror, disgust, loathing, and disgust, disgust, disgust, disgust!

Rosalie – proud and happy

"Wait! What is going on?" Esme wailed, confused.

"Alice gets to break Jasper's heart. Knowing Rosalie, she's going to make Alice do something to Jacob later on." Emmett said, going to go get the phone.

"I am so cutting this part out of the final video." Alice grumbled while Esme started playing with the computers so everyone could get a good view of Alice's face.

"Esme, remind me to Photoshop it so that I can make it look like she's smiling." Rosalie called, looking at Alice's upset face.

"Good thing he can't sense emotions over the phone." Bella mumbled, looking at the clock. It was 10:30 p.m. *Yawn*

**Note, horse latitude, thirty degrees … sorry, I'm halfway paying attention to our science teacher and she told us to write it down.**

"What if he doesn't pick up?" Alice asked. She already knew that he was going to answer, but she was hoping that she could fake it so that she didn't have to talk to him.

"He always answers. Stop stalling and call him." Rosalie said. Alice tossed her short black hair back and dialed the phone.

"Hello, Jasper? It's Alice. I just called to say that I don't love you anymore because I love Jacob Black. Oh, and you might want to tell Edward that Bella and I fought over Jacob and I accidently killed Bella. Sorry, don't make this harder than it has to be. Bye!" Alice said in a rush. She hung the phone up and turned to Bella, who was gaping at her.

"Why the hell did you say that?" She demanded, her voice a few octaves higher than normal. Alice shrugged.

"I warned Carlisle to tell them that anything they heard over the phone from me was fake," Alice said, shrugging. "I'm just hoping he'll forget," she added.

"So I'd be useless to do anymore daring over the phone then." Emmett said, upset. Alice shook her head.

"No, I told him to believe anything that doesn't come from me so that I could dare you guys to tell them things over the phone. Rosalie just beat me to it," Alice said, glaring at Rosalie who was smiling. The phone rang suddenly and before Alice could press the button to turn it off, Esme made a dive for it. She grabbed it from her hands and crawled away.

"Esme, what are you doing?" Alice asked, confused.

"Sorry Jasper, Alice isn't here, she just eloped with Jacob. Oh, and Bella is still alive, but she kissed Mike Newton! And you should see what we made her wear. Oh, and Emmett says hi, but he's green right now. He also had to dance in a pink dress! Bye! Oh, and don't come back, you'll ruin the game!" Esme yelled into the phone, talking a mile a minute. Then she turned the phone off and threw it out the window, which was closed at the time, so it broke.

…………………………………… (Cue cricket noises) ……………………………

Somewhere in a forest really far away

"Should we be worried about them?" Carlisle asked once Esme was done with her rant. Jasper had put the phone down on the ground and was looking at it like it was going to bite him (imagine that).

"Esme said not to come back, and when she gets like this … we'll its safer to be far away." Jasper said, shrugging.

"Bella kissed Newton?" Edward said. It was pretty much the only part he had paid attention to during Esme's rant.

"Hey, Alice eloped with a werewolf! How do you think I feel right now? And you … you're wife is a lunatic!" Jasper said to Carlisle.

Back at the house

"Okay then. Um, Emmett, I guess it's your turn now." Bella said, wondering how safe it would be for her to sleep in the house while Esme was a well … raging crazy person.

"I got my own name." He said. Before anyone could even think of a dare, Esme stood up.

"I dare you to wear a wedding dress for the rest of the night!" She said loudly.

"Inside voice Esme. So that's what I needed the wedding dress for." Alice said, skipping from the room and coming back with the mother of all hideous dresses. It had poufy sleeves that we're each larger than Emmett's head. The skirts would have been considered big in old fashioned times.

"What if he rips this one?" Bella asked, wondering if she could find a loophole in Rosalie's plan.

"Than he walks around with a ripped wedding dress." Esme said in an end of discussion form. She looked like her normal age for a split second, and then she was back to her empty headed smile.

"I'm so burning this." Alice scoffed as Emmett put it on. Alice had gotten him a wig, so he looked like a linebacker bride. Alice giggled and Esme looked pleased with herself.

"I have to wear this thing the entire night?" He demanded.

"Yep, the other's have to see you wearing it when they get back. After all, if you only wore it for three seconds, what fun could that possible be?" Rosalie asked, smiling. Emmett was trying to sit back down in the dress, which was proving to be a challenge for him. Since he was the only male in the room, all the girls rolled their eyes, not amused by his difficulties.

"Oh just plant your ass on the ground! Alice, go." Rosalie said.


	10. Chapter 10

**bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored **

**Great authors note, huh?**

**I don't own Twilight.**

Alice gets Revenge … on the Wrong Person

Alice picked up her card and sat back down. She sighed.

"Rosalie, I dare you to call Edward and tell him that Emmett and Bella have eloped!" Alice said. No one moved.

"Alice, how the heck does that help you get revenge on Rosalie for making you call Jasper?" Bella asked, confused.

"Because, Emmett is here, so Rosalie doesn't have anyone to call. I thought that if Edward gets upset with Emmett had hurts him, than that will upset Rosalie. Plus, one of you is already wearing a wedding gown." Alice pointed out.

"Wait, so in order to hurt Rosalie, you're willing to take down two innocent bystanders down?" Bella wailed, upset.

"No, I'm willing to take down none. _You _made me burn my clothes, and _Rosalie _made me call Jasper, so this will be hitting three stone with one stone." Alice said, pleased.

"What about me! I haven't done anything to you! I deserve a little bit of a break because I am in a freaking wedding dress!" Emmett yelled.

"True, you haven't done anything to me … yet. I see some possible dares, and I do not like them." Alice said.

"CHEESE!" Sorry, Esme hasn't said anything in a while.

"Stop stalling and pick up that phone!"

"I am not!" Rosalie said, glaring.

"Are to."

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Am not.

"Are to."

"Fine." Rosalie said, picking up the phone and slowly dialing the numbers (**PS, it's a cell phone because Esme threw the last one out the window)**

"Wow Rosalie, you think you could have lasted for like, two more seconds?" Emmett said, glaring. He and Bella were glaring in between Alice (for making the dare) and Rosalie (for going through with her part). If she turned out, she would probably look better if the color was solid.

"Edward, it's Rosalie," She sounded like she was near tears.

"It's just that, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this but … you see Bella and Emmett ran off to Vegas together! They want to have a dual wedding with Alice and Jacob! I couldn't believe it, but I just thought you had the right to know and all. I'm so sorry. Tell Jasper that I know how he feels now." Rosalie wailed into the phone. Before Edward could say anything, she snapped the phone off and tossed it out the window to stay with the other one.

**Back to the forest with the others**

"I don't care what Esme said, we have to go back now!" Edward said. He was all for running straight to Vegas and putting a stop to the wedding, but Jasper was holding him back. It wasn't easy, he was using Carlisle to keep himself steady. Why he was holding Edward back when Alice was going to go get married to a werewolf, we'll never know. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was more afraid of Esme than he was of anything else, and that Carlisle had remained calm.

"Edward, Esme said not to interrupt their game, so it was probably just a lie." He reasoned calmly. Edward seemed slightly more relaxed

"Of course, because we should totally believe what the complete lunatic says!" Edward responded, sarcastically.

"It doesn't matter; we aren't going back until the weekend is over. I'm sure we'll come back to all of them completely normal. And, Bella and Emmett will probably not be married when we get back, neither will Alice and Jacob." Carlisle said calmly.

**Back to the insanity**

"Well, not that Alice has ruined three lives in one dare, it's my turn. And Alice, you will be so lucky if I don't draw you." Bella said, upset.

"I'm trembling." Alice muttered sarcastically.

"I got Alice's name." Bella said, turning to look at the vampire, who was now really shaking.


	11. Alice says goodbye to her Dignity

**Alice, Your Dignity has Left the Building**

**And it was running for its freaking life.**

"Alice, in my mind, there is only one way for you to repay for you sins." Bella began.

"Speed it up Bella, we don't have all night. Well, we do, but you don't." Alice sighed, shaking her head.

"Shut up, I'm on a roll. As I was saying, the only way for you to right your wrongs, we are going to go with something that will make almost everyone in this room disgusted. Alice, I'm going to call Jacob, and you have to make out with him when he gets here, or else I'm painting you yellow and black so you'll look like a oversized bee," Bella said.

………………

"That's totally against the rules! And who are you calling oversized?" Alice shrieked! Bella folded her arms tightly across her chest and shook her head.

"I am not exposing that you're a vampire! And, yeah, you're oversized! You know, compared to a bee and all." She responded, frowning.

"Bella, this is crossing the line a little." Esme said, suddenly back in mature mode. Everyone turned to glare at her.

"Why are you acting like an adult now of all times?" Emmett said, glaring. Personally, he liked the dare. He was, after all, dead when Edward got back and thought that he and Bella were married, thanks to the pervious dare.

"Because this is totally …. Hey, when did we get a mirror! OOOOOO, I'm pretty!" Esme ran over to the mirror, going back into crazy mode. This time it was crazy mode with a little pinch of Rosalie.

Alice glared and handed Bella (another) cell phone. They must have a store room of these things somewhere.

"Jake, is Bella. Would you mind coming to the Cullen's house for a little while. Why? Because … umm … Edward left and I'm lonely!" Bella wailed into the phone. There was the sound of a car starting on the other side of the line and Bella closed the phone smirking.

-Insert sound of clock ticking –

"That dog is here. Alice, go answer that door, the right way." Rosalie whispered, winking at Alice who looked like she wanted nothing more than to throw her out the window and then throw Jacob into the next century.

"Fine, I have the camera's set up. Esme, I swear, if you made little hearts and cupids and fireworks on the screen, I will personally see to your demise. Got that?" Alice demanded, glaring at the vampire who was older than she was, but at the moment, she was less mature than Emmett.

"Yeah, yeah, something about Valentine's Day in the back ground and then something about demise. Go and kiss the freaking werewolf! I'm starting to get bored." Esme said, running up to the door. Alice walked up behind the door and Esme opened it. Alice took a deep breath.

"Where's Bell-" Poor Jacob was cut off by Alice tackling him with a kiss. Bella was watching in a mixture of surprise that she had actually gone through with it, and disgust.

"Whoa she is going all out with this. Jasper's going to go crazy when he sees this. Insert some giant hearts, maybe a couple of cupids going back and forth, pretty flowery back ground … AWWW, this is way too cute. She's so going to kill me." Esme sighed as Alice stopped making out with Jacob and standing back.

"In case you feel like playing truth or dare with vampires, I suggest you start running – now." Alice said, readjusting her top as Jacob went running. Esme frowned, making a mental (she was mental) note in her head to cut that last part out.

"Aww, someone's not that good a kisser, you scared him off." Emmett said tauntingly. Alice gave him a look of pure hate.

"I am going to go brush my teeth, get a hose and clean it with that, and then eat soap." Alice said, walking out of the room stiffly.

"I should be back in an hour at the least, two at the most." She called over her shoulder.

"What do we do if we get her name?" Bella asked. Esme was playing with the video. She was inserting the same background that she had given Alice and Jacob to Bella and Mike. Thanks to the fact that Alice had done and army crawl to get the picture, there was plenty of footage to work with.

"Why don't we take a break from truth or dare until she gets back?" Emmett suggested, smiling. Rosalie glared at the smile.

"What are we going to do then?" She demanded. Emmett grinned.

"We're going to do a team bonding exercise," He declared, standing up and doing a super hero pose.

"EWWWW! Emmett that was soooo corny!" Both Bella and Rosalie wailed at the same time. Esme ran back over and sat down.

"What do you think we should Emmett?" Esme asked.

"We're going to find what everyone biggest fear is." Emmett said. The others froze and looked at each other.

"We'll, it'd be fun to see Bella freak out about something so … Esme, grab some cameras, a few flashlights, and some band-aids." Rosalie said, standing up and walking to the door.

"Should we wait for Alice?" Bella asked as they walked outside. It was really late in the night and now the whole forest that Emmett and insisted to go it to find their fears was very dark.

"Nah, she'll be fine." Esme said, using a flash light to focus on specifically scary shaped trees and owls that were perched in the trees. (**Are there even owls in Washington?) **

Behind them, they heard Emmett scream a really high pitched scream and both of the girls turned around to look at him and Rosalie.


	12. Fears and Utah

**Why I even thought of this as a fear, I have no idea.**

**Fear Time and Utah**

**Great combo**

"Emmett, why are you screaming? There's nothing here you idiot." Esme said, swinging the camera back and forth in the air, trying to find out what was making him scream. There was nothing but the dark and trees and … yeah, that was pretty much it.

"It's right there, can't you see it?" He said pointing at something near Rosalie. Rosalie looked behind herself and tilted her head to the side, not seeing anything near her. She turned back around to face the others and shrugged. Bella suddenly looked like she understood.

"Emmett, I know she's scary, but there's no reason to be afraid of her. I mean, come on, you've been married to her how many times now?" Bella said, shaking her head while Rosalie glared at her.

"I don't think I'm what he's afraid of Bella." She said, glaring at Bella. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she could use whatever Bella was afraid of against her. That was the only reason she hadn't stayed with Alice.

**Back with Alice**

"You guys? Hello? Come on, this is so unfair! What the heck, I came up with the game; you can't walk out on my game!" Alice wailed, stomping down the stairs. Her teeth were now unnaturally white, even for her.

"Fine, if that's the way you want, I'm going to Utah!" She wailed, grabbing a hat and running to Utah.

**Back to the forest**

"Oh, wait, Rosalie, you have a bug in your hair." Bella said, plucking a small lady bug out of Rosalie's hair.

"Aww, it looks so cute!" Esme squealed from where she was standing. She ran forward and took it from Bella, balancing it on her finger. She waved it in Emmett's face and he jumped back.

"Lookie Emmett, isn't it reaaaally cute?" She said, waving it back and forth in front of his face.

"NO, it's creepy!" He said as Esme tried to make the lady bug crawl on his face. Bella and Rosalie gave him similar looks of disgust.

"You. Are. Afraid. Of. Lady. Bugs." Rosalie said slowly, making each word its own sentence to make sure that Emmett understood her. Emmett nodded slowly.

"Why? Lady bugs are really cute! I was afraid of them when I was little because a kid told me that they ate people, but then I realized that he was lying because they have really small mouths (**I haven't ever seen a lady bugs mouth)**." Bella said, picking another lady bug off the ground and balancing it on her finger.

"Lady bugs? Really Emmett? There not even the size of a fingernail!" Esme said, shaking her head. She was playing with the lady bug and balancing it on her nose.

"There weird! Look at them, they're really little and then what if that kid was right Bella, what if they do eat people?" Emmett whined.

"You are the one who made us hike out in the stupid forest so we could find our fears! Didn't you think that there would be lady bugs?" Bella asked, shaking her head.

"We'll, yeah, but I didn't think we would actually see one."

"Don't be too surprised Bella, he's also afraid of hamsters." Rosalie said, shaking her head and walking away from the others.

"WAIT!" Esme said, causing Bella and Emmett to jump and turn to look at her. The poor lady bug that had been on her nose went flying when she started jumping in place.

"We're in the forest! I CAN BE A REAL BUNNY!" She was hopping up and down now. Rosalie looked like she was going to be sick. (**FWI – Esme is still wearing her pink PJ's and she still has the freaky bunny ears on, only now, she can fulfill her dream of jumping without judgment … kinda) **

"BUNNY, BUNNY, BUNNY,BUNNY, BUNNY, BUNNY! I AM A BUNNY AND YOU ARE NOT, MWAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She screamed, and then she dropped on all fours.

"Wait, what?" She jumped up and climbed onto Rosalie's shoulders, looking at the ground on shock.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU STUPID BUNNY!" Rosalie said, trying to get Esme to let go.

"Why is there dirt on the ground? No one told me there was dirt in a forest!" She wailed, sounding as though she was about to cry.

"Yeah, and no one told me misquotes could bite. Or that there are fish in the ocean." Bella said sarcastically, swatting away a small mosquito that was buzzing around her head.

"Esme, it's a forest! The entire ground is covered in dirt. That's kind of weird though. I thought that you'd like rolling in dirt when you act like this." Emmett said, shaking his head. He was still leaning away from Bella while she held the lady bug in his face.

"NOOOOOOOOO! There shouldn't be dirt in a forest! There should be trees and cute little furry animals that make high pitched squeaky sounds in cartoons! And how do you know there are fish in the ocean, huh? WHY DIRT? WHYYYY, WHYYYY, WHYYYY!" She whined. Emmett had picked up the camera she had dropped brushed it off, making sure it was still on.

"Esme is afraid of dirt. That's just plain wrong." He sighed, shaking his head.

"Emmett, that doesn't mean much coming from the vampire who is afraid of lady bugs." Bella pointed out, taking the camera away from him. When he tried to get it back, she put the lady bug on top of the camera.

**Somewhere in Utah **

Alice really wasn't doing anything that exciting. She was wandering around in the state, looking around at nothing in particular while she waited for their fear game to end. She couldn't wait when they discovered Rosalie's fear **cough-plaid-cough**

**Back to the forest**

"Emmett, you're afraid of … Lady Bugs and you, Esme, you're afraid of … mud." Rosalie sighed, still trying to get Esme off of her shoulders. Esme was latched on tightly, with no wish to let go.

"Can I just be the first to say that this trip in the forest completely sucks?" Emmett said, huffing. Bella threw a poor lady bug (the same one that had been thrown off Esme's nose when she started jumping) at Emmett. Emmett started jumping up and down in place, trying to get it off.

"Hey, I'm the only bunny!" Esme yelled.

"IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE EMMETT!" Bella yelled, hurling another poor lady bug at his face.

"Hey, stop throwing things at me! I'm green, wearing a brides dress, and have been humiliated in a hundred different ways and the last thing I need is to be covered in lady bugs!" Emmett yelled.

"EVERY BODY STOP FIGHTING! I HATE CONFLICT; YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY." Esme screamed at the top of her lungs. Bella covered her ears.

"ESME, YOU CAN'T CRY! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" Rosalie yelled back, finally throwing Esme off of her.

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL! NO ONE KNOW'S HOW I REALLY FEEL! I FEEL LIKE A BUNNY! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND! I CAN'T MAKE NOISES, BECAUSE I AM A BUNNY!" Esme screamed.

"You are not a bunny." Surprisingly, it was Emmett who kept his voice down.

"AND YOU ARE NOT AN ALIEN BRIDE! WE ALL WANT TO BE THINGS WE AREN'T, SO LET ME LIVE IN PEACE!" Esme threw herself against the ground and then realized that she was against the dirt and she jumped in a tree.

"Can we just go back before I lose my hearing? I'll tell you guys what I'm afraid of, and Rosalie, I know you want to go, so just tell everyone what you're afraid of and we can go home!" Bella yelled, not nearly as loud as the others were.

"FINE! I'm afraid of plaid and the song _it's a Small World After All!"_ Rosalie wailed. Bella gave her a look of surprise before turning to the others.

"And I'm afraid of sharks and most bugs, with the exception of butterflies and ladybugs!" Bella said, glaring at Emmett out of the corner of her eyes.

"NOW LET'S GO HOME!" Esme wailed loudly. She was smiling. Rosalie turned bone white and glared at her.

"Wait a second … did you just pretend to throw a temper tantrum so we can go home?" She demanded, glaring.

"Well, duh, like I would ever stay in a place covered in dirt."

"I think I just thought of a dare for Esme; take a mud bath." Emmett said, smiling happily. Bella was giving Esme a look that was torn between admiration and fear.

"WE CAN GO HOME, AND I CAN BE A HOUSE BUNNY." Esme squealed. Emmett picked her up, holding her far away like her dementedness was a contagious dieses.

"Welcome home. You guys are in so much trouble for leaving me here all alone! I went to Utah!" Alice said, holding a snow globe featuring some place from Utah in it and wearing an 'I Heart Utah' T-shirt.

"Whose turn is it to go?" Bella asked as they walked up the steps and inside. She put the camera on a table and sat back down on her sleeping bag, looking really tired.

"Umm … I forgot." Rosalie said, thinking hard.

"I'll go!" Esme volunteered, waving her hands in the air.

"NO!" Rosalie snapped.

"I will create a bunny army and destroy all of you!" Esme screamed.

"Your turn Esme." Everyone said at the same time. Esme squealed and picked up her card.


	13. The Pink Bunny

Dawn of the … Bunnies

That's just plain wrong

"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! I got Rosalie's name!" Esme ran up the stairs and came back a second later wearing a corny looking superhero costume.

"Okay, seriously, why do you have that?" Emmett asked, shaking his head. Esme went into a superhero pose on the top of the stair case.

"I am the Pink Bunny Super Girl, fighting crime and rescuing bunny's everywhere! I dare Rosalie to be my sidekick, the Purple Gopher." Esme yelled. Rosalie stared up at her in pure disgust.

"See, I already had a costume made for you." She said, holding up a costume that was similar to her, but its mask was a gopher face, it was purple, it had a bushy tail, and gopher gloves. Rosalie looked like she was going to have a convulsion.

"Esme, are you sure that you're only making a fool out of Rosalie and not yourself." Bella asked. Alice was in a state of shock and was currently unable to form a complete sentence.

"You … its … purple … teeth … face … That used to be mine!" Alice said, regaining her wits long enough to form a sentence.

"The gopher outfit? Really Alice?" Emmett asked, trying to picture Alice in a gopher costume.

"NO, the bunny outfit. Esme stole it from me a while ago." Alice said, frowning.

"Sorry Alice, but I'm the one with bunny powers! Come on Rosalie, we have to fight crime and save bunnies!" Esme declared before running off.

"WAIT FOR US!" Alice called after them but they were already gone.

"What do we do now?"

"I have an idea…"

**You know, if I was mean, I would completely skip over the entire superhero scene with the old lady from chapter 6 … the one that attacked Emmett with the bat … but I'm not that evil**

"Gopher girl, pick up your feet!" Esme called over her shoulder. Rosalie was still staring at the purple gopher tail in shock. It clashed with her currently snot colored skin.

"Esme, will you stop calling me that!" Rosalie asked, catching up to her.

"SHHHH, don't call me that! What if one of our enemy's finds out our real identities?"

"What enemies?" Rosalie asked. Esme turned the other way.

"I'm sorry; we're you talking to me?"

"Esme, don't start."

"I can't hear you."

"Pink Bunny … what enemies do we have?" Rosalie looked like she had eaten something that didn't agree with her.

"Oh come on, do you think I let this thing sit in the corner of my closet and gather dust? I have a whole secret life you know nothing about."

"So you actually wear this … in public…?"

"Who else is going to save bunnies Purple Gopher? It has to be me! I'm the only thing protecting them! Look, we need to help that old lady." Esme said, pointing down at the streets.

"Oh god, it can't be." Rosalie looked frightened.

"Hi lady!" Esme called skipping up to her. The old woman looked at her over her glasses.

"Are you a superhero? I want to report an alien sighting. He was tall and green and had an antenna." She told them.

"Gasp! It must have been Emmett! Our archenemy." Esme said, turning to Rosalie.

"You've lost it."

"What do you mean by that! Quickly Gopher Girl, we must stop him.

"He's my husband."

"Gasp! How could you betray our cause! Traitor! And after all the years we've been fighting crime together."

"What are you talking about! I didn't even know that you had this stupid outfit until about five minutes ago!"

"And after all those five seconds, you could still betray me by marrying him!"

"There is nothing I can say Esme."

"DO NOT SAY MY REAL NAME! What if our nemesis, the Cockroach King finds out!" Rosalie was figuring that the only way to stop a crazy was to reason like a crazy!

"I'm sorry Pink Bunny, but I can't fight crime anymore! Go fight the Cockroach King on your own. Goodbye and don't come back to the house until you've killed the Cockroach King." That was what Rosalie said, but she was thinking, _you'll never find the King or whatever, and so we never have to see you again, and maybe you'll calm down, realize that you are crazy, and come back later._

"I can read your mind Gopher, another Bunny power! I will defeat the Cockroach King and return to you and the others later. Farewell old Lady! Farewell Gopher." Esme was gone in a flash, leaving a very confused Rosalie standing on the sidewalk with the crazy old lady.

"That went over badly." The lady said. Rosalie looked at her before running away.


	14. Couldn't think of a title

**I don't own Twilight**

**I also don't own Batman (he's mentioned in the chapter)**

More Dares and Esme Goes Missing

When Rosalie walked back into the living room she was surprisingly alone, no Esme hopping up and down next to her. Emmett looked around her to see if Esme was behind her, but it was just Rosalie who was taking off her gopher mask and glaring down at her purple gopher tail.

"Before anyone asks, she is okay physically, but not mentally. She went off to fight some sort of Beatle King or whatever, and then she's going to come back here and seek revenge on me for marrying the enemy. Depending on where she thinks the King is, the sanity level in this house should be a little higher for a few hours. Maybe she'll get lost on the way home, I don't know, and I don't care," Rosalie said, perfectly at ease.

(**P.S, I was thinking about writing a little side story about what's Esme is doing during this chapter. Should I?)**

"Okay then … Rosalie; it's your turn now. If you get Esme's name, just change it to Alice's." Bella told her as she sat back down. Alice gave her an upset look and Bella frowned back at her. Bella was still holding a grudge against her for the past few dares.

"I got Emmett. Hmmm, Alice is it against the rules for me to dare him to put something _other _than a bride's outfit, like something a normal person would wear?" Rosalie asked. The black haired vampire went into a 'meditative pose' and sat there, not moving. Everyone waited.

And waited.

And waited a little more.

"Speed it up Alice," Rosalie whispered

"What is she doing?" Emmett whispered.

"Maybe she's looking into the future to see what will happen?" Bella whispered back.

"She's never done the freaky yoga pose before, it's creeping me out."

"Well, maybe she just doesn't do it in public. Who knows, it might help her concentrate more, or she might be able to see farther into the future."

"She's still not moving Bella. What do we do if she starts going 'ommmm'?"

"We know then that's she's as crazy as Esme is. Until then, go poke her."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see if she'll tip over and fall, now go poke her in the shoulder."

"No, I value my life. Besides, what if she goes ballistic and claw's my hand off? It probably won't hurt that much, but I can't go walking around handless until Carlisle gets back and sews it on."

"Oh come on, just do it. If she claws your hand off, Esme can out it back together and sing 'Humpty Dumpty' while she does it. Alice probably won't even move, you are such a baby Emmett. Do it, or I'll bring you a new pet ladybug!" Bella threatened. Emmett leaned back slightly. Alice's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"You guys, I can hear ever word you're saying! I'm trying to channel my inner-Esme to see how she would respond to the question," Alice hissed at them, her eyes still closed and her face relaxing slightly. Bella and Emmett looked at each other before shrugging.

"Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!" Rosalie gasped waving her arm in the air. Alice opened one eye to look at her and nodded. Rosalie cleared her throat and stood up, tying her hair into two high ponytails.

"I'M A BUNNY! HOP, HOP, HOP! I'm only afraid of dirt! I must fight crime and save bunnies everywhere! Down with the Cockroach King!" Rosalie screamed, hopping in place. She had been dying to get that one out. Emmett and Bella leaned away from her, but Alice seemed unaffected.

"Well, besides that, I also think Esme would say that that's against the rules. So, you have to pick something else or she'll get mad when she gets back … if she gets back. Who knows, she might go annoyed Jasper and the others in the woods. I wish I could see their faces." Alice said, leaving her yoga pose and lying down on her sleeping bag, daydreaming.

"Fine. What would make Esme really mad at you when she came home…?" Rosalie was thinking hard and the others could practically see the gears rotating in her head.

"You could always have him destroy her secret Pink Bunny Lair underground." Bella suggested casually. Everyone looked at her in shock and confusion.

"Okay, I can see the future and not even I know what that is." Alice said. Bella walked over pressed a button that made the wall slide to reveal a door with a large pink bunny poster on it.

"Edward was out hunting once and I was left alone here with Esme, and she wasn't paying much attention, so I went down to look around. There is this whole underground lair thing underneath the floor. It's all pink and fluffy with giant Bunny symbols everything. It's kind of like a girly-version of Batman's cave." Bella explained to the still shocked vampires.

"We live here and we didn't know about that! Emmett, go destroy that thing, now! What if someone saw it other than Bella? We don't have to worry about her being scarred for life." Rosalie ordered. Emmett ran down just as Bella opened her mouth to say something to him. He was gone before she could get the first word.

"Umm … she has a security system."

BANG

"What the #&*?"

"What was that?" Alice asked, looking down the stairs after the crash had ended. Bella rubbed her forehead slightly.

"A giant metal hammer."

"How did you not get squashed by that?" Rosalie asked, upset.

"She hadn't worked the bugs (**ha-ha, 'bugs' and she's out fighting the Cockroach king, get it … I'll shut up) **out and it just swung over my head. I guess she fixed it though."

"Why is it that I am the only one getting hit?" Emmett asked, crawling back up the stairs. Alice looked tempted with the thought of kicking him.

"Emmett, go back down there and destroy it!" Rosalie snapped. Yeah, you could tell she was really worried about him.

"The stupid hammer put a giant hole in the wall which made everything short-circuit. There is nothing to destroy."

"Was the hole Emmett shaped?" Bella asked teasingly. Emmett glared back up at her, since he was still lying on the ground.

"Shut up Bella! You just had to mention the stupid lair, didn't you?"

"Well, what else could you do to her? In her current state of mind, she probably can't read so burning books wouldn't matter. She doesn't care that much about clothes, and I don't think she has her own car to destroy. She probably just be happy and laugh if you totaled the Mercedes. Now you look like a squashed alien bride."

"Shut up, I'm trying to think of what to do if I draw your name."

"Why me? Rosalie could have completely ignored the whole lair comment and dared to do something else. It's not my fault she chooses now to listen to what I'm saying."

"Because none of us would have ever known about it if you hadn't said anything! My turn."


	15. Chapter 16

**Authors Note**

**Okay people! Your turn to play truth or dare! Here's your question, and you got to answer truthfully, A or B**

**I leave this story as it is and make it say complete again and then forget I ever put this note up in the first place or…**

**I delete the last chapter and start writing more dares again**

**Okay then, choice time!**

**Note: I'll still keep writing my other story, even if I pick this one up again.**


	16. And we're back in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

**Okey dokey then! As you have probably noticed, the last chapter was deleted and now this chapter is up in its place! We had a ton of B's some A's and an umm … C … **

**Applause for originality!**

**We'll, this story is going to have more dares and if I can't think of anything else, they're going to start having to spill their most embarrassing (and weird) secrets, but I have plenty to write before that happens! Thank you to everyone who voted!**

**P.S. I got a 12 on a Spanish test! I only answered one question out of eight! The one word that I got right was **_**Tener**_**! **

**That point aside (thank god my parents don't believe in grounding, they just give me the silent treatment when I do something wrong) this story is back on track!**

**Remember: Okay, this picks up like the last chapter never happened to Esme is off somewhere else.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! YAY**

**Lot's of Hate from Rosalie  
**

"Damn." Emmett muttered under his breath. Rosalie.

"We'll Emmett, what are you going to do?" The blonde had her hands on her hips, her eyebrows raised to high they were in danger of disappearing into her hair. Emmett looked like he was under some very serious pressure.

"UMMM ……………. I dare you to shave your head!" It was the first thing that came to his mind and he covered his mouth the second he said it. Alice looked thrilled, like Christmas had come early.

"Wow, that seems like something Esme would dare," Rosalie glared at her before turning back around and glaring even more at Emmett who was slowly steeping away from her. She put her hands on her hips and Emmett hid behind Bella, who was about a foot shorter than he was and waaaay thinner.

"We'll, you do technically have to do it, or we can always tell Esme that it was _you _who destroyed her little … lair." Alice suggested, smirking slightly. Rosalie was mentally weighing her options.

She could face Esme's wrath or

She could shave her head …

"So, how are you going to shave my head? Are you going to do a buzz cut with scissors, or are you going to use a razor to take it all off?" Esme scared her more than the thought of getting a wig to cover her bald head.

"Whatever you choose Bella gets to do it!" Emmett called from where he was hiding. Bella stepped back when Rosalie's gaze turned on her and she hid behind Emmett who tried to hide behind her again.

"We're going to shave it all off then, because I am not letting her _cut _it. It'll totally come out uneven." Rosalie huffed before sitting down and waiting. Alice had left for a few moments but now she was back with a razor in her hand.

"I think we should make a wig out of the hair and let Bella wear it!" Alice volunteered, beaming. Bella gave her a hurt look.

"We'll Bella? Speed it up!" Rosalie snapped. Bella stood about three feet away from Rosalie as she started taking off the hair. Rosalie's face was set in a grim line and her arms were holding at the sound of her hair being taken off.

"Can I start running?" Emmett whispered to Alice from where they were sitting. Bella had taken off about half of Rosalie's hair and the long blonde locks were on the floor.

"Shut up Emmett." Rosalie snapped from where she was sitting. Alice was enjoying herself.

"If only Esme were here to see this. This is one of the happiest moments of my life!" She sighed, smiling up at the ceiling.

"Why? I mean, it's going to grow back, isn't it?" Bella asked, getting the last few strands off of Rosalie's head.

"Nope! Vampires hair doesn't grow back, ever." (**P.S. I don't know this; I just think it seems likely that if their bodies don't change, their hair shouldn't change either)**

"You're going to murder Emmett and I, aren't you?" Bella asked when she was finished. Rosalie turned around and glared at her.

"Right now, I'm just going to kill Emmett, I'll find a way to get even with _you _later." She snapped, turning on Emmett who was trying not to laugh at the way Rosalie looked. Her ears kind of stuck out when they weren't covered by her hair and her eyebrows were so pale they were almost nonexistent, making her look like some sort of weird half alien half human … thing

"Would you like to borrow my veil?" Emmett asked innocently, taking the bridal veil off of his own head.

"Yeah, and if we hadn't broken in earlier, you could always wear the antenna, or when she gets back you could wear Esme's bunny ears." Alice said giggling as Rosalie tore the veil to shreds, using her teeth to make sure there was no chance of sewing it back together.

"I thought of a way to kill Emmett." She walked upstairs and came back with a large bunny stuffed animal.

"That's Esme's bunny, isn't it?" Bella asked doubtfully. She had the feeling Rosalie was going to shred it like she had the veil. Rosalie smiled happily at her and then tossed it in the fire which still had the remains of Bella's book. Then she picked up and marker and wrote 'EMMETT BURN MR. BUNNY' in bold letters above the fire place.

"What's so special about the bunny?" Bella asked from where she was sitting on the floor.

"This was the first bunny Esme ever owned. She bought it when she was still human and it's what gave her the dumb idea to become a superhero that fought for bunnies. I wonder if she'll cry." Rosalie said, smiling at the thought.

"That only works on T.V shows Rosalie, not in reality." Alice said, shaking her head while the blonde girl rolled her eyes theatrically.

"Alice, please. We're discussing Esme here," Alice thought for a second.

"Write that it was also Emmett who took full responsibility for the destruction of the bunny lair." Alice added.

EMMETT BROKE THE FREAKY BUNNY ROOM

"That works too." Rosalie smiled at Alice and then at Emmett who looked like he was going to faint.

**Note: Yes, this next part is from the old chapter I deleted, but Esme needs to come back somehow, doesn't' she and I kind of liked her entrance here? Unless she stays gone forever. Anyways, the last line is different so this isn't the ending; the story will still be updated!**

CRASH

"Esme's home." Alice muttered softly as Esme burst back into the room, through the window (duh). She had (thankfully) changed out of her pink bunny outfit, and was now wearing the PJ's she had been wearing before (mega duh).

"You! Traitor!" She screamed, pointing at Rosalie who looked slightly taken aback. Then she smiled, mouthing 'play along' to the others.

"What are you talking about Esme?" She asked innocently. Esme glared. Her hyper attitude hadn't worn off yet.

"You married the enemy!" She said pointing at the Emmett.

"No I didn't, you know that! _Our_ enemy is married to Bella." Rosalie put emphasis on the word 'our'.

"HUH?" Bella and Emmett looked at her in shock. She glared down at them. Esme looked like she was trying really hard to remember something.

"What are you saying Rosalie? You know she's going to … believe you." Alice tapered off, smiling evilly.

"That's what I'm hoping for."

"What are you two talking about this is crazy!"

"Esme would go totally postal if she stays in 'character much longer, so we're going to pretend that you two are married, that way, she will stay ever so slightly sane … no, she just won't get any crazier." Rosalie explained softly. Esme was too busy thinking to hear them whispering.

"That … makes sense." Emmett whispered, looking at Bella who shrugged.

"When Esme is involved, most things aren't normal, so I guess it works." She agreed shrugging. Esme bounced over to them and beamed.

"Okay then! Congratulations on your wedding. This does mean that you two are the enemy now! I bet you two will have a really cute kid!" Esme babbled happily, deciding that they were married. Bella and Emmett nodded and smiled blankly before turning to Alice.

"We'll, I guess this means that it's Alice's turn.


	17. Chapter 17

**It's midnight! I'm sleepy! Computer glow blinding! But I had a great idea that came to me in two ways!**

**I made a misspelling and it came out 'Truth or Date'!**

**I just woke up from a dream about it!**

**Okay people! I just wanna say thank you to everyone who reviewed and everyone who even read my story! I have more time to write now that its summer, but there's going to be delays between postings for when I'm on vacation and can't get internet connection!**

Emmett Turns the Tables! Rosalie's New Biggest Fear!

"Wait!" Emmett said dramatically, making everyone lean away slightly. Even Esme looked faintly surprised by his sudden outburst.

"After everything that's happened, I really don't want to know what you have planned. It was your idea that we had to discover our biggest fears in the first place." Rosalie sighed, staring straight ahead as though she couldn't bear to look at the green-skinned-alien-bride-vampire-boy sitting next to her

(**FWI: If I wrote that he was allowed to take the outfit and green coloring off than forget about that. I'm too bored to go lazy to go back and check right now so just pretend he's still wearing it … unless you can come up with something funnier, then I can change the outfit later on … hmmm…).**

"But you'll like this idea! I think everyone will. Alice?" Emmett looked over at the other girl who was looking around in the future. She smiled slightly and got an evil glint in her eyes. Esme was leaning forward, her eyes wide.

"You're right Emmett; I think everyone is going to _love _it!" Rosalie looked slightly scared now, and she had every right to be frightened.

"I have a bowl on names upstairs. I think it's only fair that Bella can sit this one out. She's done something similar already." Alice continued as though she couldn't see Rosalie's horrified face. Now she was avoiding looking at Rosalie who was avoiding looking at Emmett who was looking at Alice who wouldn't look at Rosalie who wouldn't look at Emmett who was looking confused ………… (Sleep deprivation yawn) …..

"Okay, while Alice gets the cards, I guess I should explain." Emmett said, realizing that everyone was looking at him (well …. Everyone only means three people, but one of them is insane, ones confused, and one is his very angry wife so it felt a lot worse…)

"No Emmett, why in the world would you have to explain!?! Why not just let the rest of us sit here in total utter confusion while you go on with your little game that includes the clueless. Feel free not to explain." Rosalie was glaring at Emmett with pure loathing.

"Oh, okay, that's great! I was really worried that you were mad a-"

"IF YOU DON'T TELL ME RIGHT NOW, I WILL THROW YOU SO HARD, YOU'LL BE SOARING OVER THE OTHERS HEAD SO FAST, THEY WON'T EVEN KNOW THAT YOUR THERE!"

The moment begins

"No screaming young lady! You are totally out of line." Esme was standing up, hands on her hips and the most mature look she had had all evening.

"Wow Esme, what happened?" Bella asked, looking at her in surprise. Esme blinked a few times and sat back down.

"Why are you all looking at me? Is there something on my face? Is it ticking? GET IT OFF!"

And the moment's ends … that was ten words of true smarticleness

"Okay! Please don't hit me!" Emmett whimpered, raising his hands above his head while Rosalie towered over him, glowering.

"TALK!" She shouted. Alice danced back into the room, did a graceful spin, and sat back down on the floor, looking back up at the cowering Emmett and angered Rosalie.

"Okay, okay! My idea was that we narrow down the dare for just one theme. The person we draw out of the basket with are names picks a person out of the other basket and has to go on a date with them." Emmett said in a rush, cringing back as Rosalie's glower intensified.

"And I don't have to do this?" Bella asked, turning to Alice with a look of hope on her face. Alice nodded and Bella beamed. Then she looked at Rosalie who was now glaring at her, and made her face look a little more serious, even if she was cheering on the outside.

"I don't get it." Esme said, folding her arms and pouting.

"I draw name! Person I draw pick another name. Other name from other basket. Name drawn is the one first person has to go on date with. First name + other name = humiliation and funny." Alice said speaking each word as a different sentence.

"Then you draw name! Don't let it be me! Alice draw name!" Esme said, still. Speaking. Like. This.

"No, that one wouldn't be funny enough … maybe then …. No, it'd be too long to grab the right one in the next AHA! Rosalie!" Alice had been fingering the different cards until she found the right one.

"Wow, the suspense was really killing me there. Who in the world would have guessed that I was the one who got picked?"

"Now you can pick the other card." Alice said, smiling happily and pushing the basket towards Rosalie.

"No, not that one put it down and pick the one with the little torn edge." Alice said, crossing her arms.

"Oh no, I know what you're doing. The other name is going to be someone I would hate to go out with. I'm not that dumb Alice." Rosalie shrugged, turning over the card. Alice sighed and shook her head.

"EWWW! I got Eric?" (**Did I spell his name right? Is it Erik or Eric or Erick or some other spelling) **Rosalie looked sick, like she had been eating sour lemons all morning.

"If you had picked the one I told you, you would have gone on a date with Emmett, but no, you had to doubt me." Alice whined shaking her head.

"You knew that I wouldn't trust you! Damn it Alice, that's so not fair!" Rosalie bellowed **(whenever I type that words it just seems so … I don't know, unattractive**). Alice looked like she couldn't have cared less and she just shrugged slightly.

"We'll, what are you waiting for? Go get dressed and we'll go get your Prince Charming. Bella, get the portable camera up and ready, also, after were done, you might want to make it a little short video and send it to the others in the woods. I'm sure that they'd love it." Alice said, winking.

**Read people:**

**If you want Emmett outfit to change, tell me what you want him to wear and I'll write it in the next few chapters. Not the next one because I would never want to interrupt Rosalie's date with destiny. **


	18. The Date Part 1

**YAY! 80+ reviews! Every single person who has reviewed gets a big round of applause. Again, sorry, but I'm waaaay to lazy to write your names down … **

**Oh, and thank you to Jasperlover101 for telling me their hair can't grow back!**

Dates and Twist!

"Get her a wig!"

"Are those shoes not comfortable Rose? Too tight? Too bad! Stop making faces! Alice, Rosalie pointed her middle finger at me!"

"Get over it Esme. Stop being such a big baby."

"Why do you hate me?"

"Concentrate Esme, we need to get Rosalie ready. We don't have time for your … interesting comments."

"I still need a wig over here! Do we want to send her out bald?"

"She can't go out wearing her P.J's! At a time like this, clothes are more important than hair!"

"Wig!"

"Clothes!"

"Wig!"

"Clothes!"

"People, we only have ten minutes to get her ready. Bella, get on the phone and get Eric ready!"

"Wig!"

"Clothes!"

"She looks like an alien without her hair! Have you noticed how much her ears stick out? She looks like Dumbo! Try and fly Rosalie!" **(Harsh)**

**"**This dare will end and I will kill you."

"I'm so scared."

"Pajamas! We can't send her out in PAJAMAS!"

"Bella, go get what we need."

"I can't, I'm too busy washing the paint off of her."

"Emmett! Go get a wig and grab one of the outfits from upstairs and ASAP! Failure is not an option!" (**Sorry, I was watching Apollo 13 in class. Just be glad I don't put, Houston, we have a problem in here!)**

"BALD! SHE IS BALD!"

"Do we even own a wig?"

"………….. Okay, you got me there……….."

"Actually, we do!"

"Seriously, since when?"

"Hello, don't you remember? Emmett wore a wig a few dares back, when he was singing. She can just say she's got a haircut recently and it didn't turn out right, she's vain enough to get away with that."

"Oh yeah. Huh, I guess that could work."

"Six minutes people. Speed it up a little. Emmett, do you have the clothes and the wig?"

"Do you mean the red top with white skirt, the black top with the navy pants, the brown vest with the jeans, or the red dress?"

"Red dress, and grab a watch and bracelet so that we can see what's going on. They have cameras in them. Rosalie, if you break the camera's, we'll send someone after you to take the video. Then, Bella gets to witness your humiliation live and in person."

"Oh, and at no time during the date are you allowed to kill, maim, or throw him out a window. You have to be polite and act like you like him or else we will repaint you. If this goes over we'll, you don't have to repaint yourself."

"But if you do it wrong, we get to-"

"What more could you possibly do!"

"We can make the humiliation much, much, much worse Rosalie. Can you see it? Six giant posters around town of you with a giant zit on your forehead and blackheads. Five more posters of you with the paint on. Do you really want that Rosalie? Do you really?"

"…………." Rosalie didn't have anything to say and Bella was getting off the phone with Eric. She walked over to where Rosalie and Alice were glaring at each other. Rosalie now had a long dark brown haired wig on. It was slipping off slightly and one of her ears _was _sticking out noticeably.

"Umm… I thought of something you might like Alice." Bella said. Neither of the vampires moved and Bella wondered if they had heard her.

"Perfect Bella, I love that idea. Get Lauren on the phone. Esme, pick out a suit for Emmett." Alice said, standing up straighter and beaming.

"Wait, what?"

"You and Rosalie are going on a double date with Eric and Lauren." Alice explained. Esme gasped.

"But Emmett and Bella are married! How could you do such a thing?"

"What are you talking abou – OH! Right. Um, yeah, Emmett and I know it's all just a game, so we're okay with the whole dating thing." Bella said, covering it up. Esme nodded content.

"So what? I'm married to Rosalie, Esme thinks I'm getting married to you soon, and now I'm supposed to date Lauren? What has this world come to?" Emmett asked, sighing over dramatically.

"What are you complaining for? Jasper thinks I'm marrying Jacob Black! I hope I can see Edwards face when he gets back." Alice smirked triumphantly.

"Gasp! Is everyone married to the enemy? Rosalie, I'm so sorry that you are single. But this chance with Eric may be your shot at true love. Don't ruin it like you ruin so many other things." And thus, the pep talk of the century was given.

"Die." Rosalie snapped before stalking off. Bella had finished calling Lauren and Emmett was … still green.

"He can't go on a date green. Wash it off." Alice snapped, getting a hose and some hot water.

"YES! Finally." Emmett beamed.

"Don't be so happy. You're still going to have to put the brides outfit back on after we're finished with this dare.

"Do I seriously have to? Aren't I paying for it enough?"

"Bella, call Carlisle and ask him when their getting back. You might want to ask him to add more time to their hunting trip; I saw a ton of new dares in the future." Alice said, ignoring Emmett with surprising ease.

"HI Carlisle, its Bella. Emmett and I need more time to plan our wedding and we still want to do more dares, so would you mind coming back on Tuesday or Wednesday instead of Monday?" Bella asked into the phone, smiling happily.

"This is the last dare for the night and then we have to let Bella sleep. We can pick back up tomorrow morning."

"Can't she just stay up all night?"

"No, Edward told me that we could do whatever we wanted, just as long as Bella gets at least eight hours of sleep."

"Okay, I'm sleepy too."

"We don't sleep Esme, it's not possible."

"Bunnies have to sleep."

"Vampire bunnies don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"He said yes, they'll be coming back later than planned. I could hear Jasper and Edward yelling in the background." Bella called, putting the shutting the phone with a flourish.

"You have ten minutes to run down to the restaurant. Watches and bracelets on. There's a camera in your earrings also. Esme, change to their cameras. Once we're done, we sending all the footage to the others in the forest, via Emmett Postal Service from today." Alice saluted them and they rolled their eyes

"Good luck you too, have fun." Bella called.

**And then the date being … next chapter, of course**


	19. Chapter 19

**Question: What do you do when you do when you can't think of anything to write for a chapter?**

**Answer: You ask your friend to do it while you go away and lounge in Mexico for a week! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: This story was ¾ written by Im-an-angelgenius and ¼ written by me. I do not own Twilight, but I do own the Pink Bunny, Purple Gopher, and Esme's lunacy.**

The Date Part 2

Rosalie glared at Emmet as they walked out the door of the house. The two of them took off in a sprint so they could get to the restaurant in time. Back in the house, Bella and Alice had burst out laughing while Esme tried to figure out what was going on

"What?" He asked, moving back a bit. The look on the blond vampires face was one of true, pure evil, and nothing less.

"I'm not the one who made you go on this date," Emmett reminded her when she refused to stop glaring.

"Yeah, well, you are the one who forced me to shave my hair off! Do you think this … this brown thing on my head is a nice happy bowl of sunshine?" Rosalie pointed at the curly brown wig on her head and Emmett blinked. Someone really was in a bad mood.

"Rosalie…uh … I hope you know, that's not a bowl, it's a wig." Sometimes Rosalie just wanted to kill him. Of all the times in this story Emmett had deserved to die, this might be one of the best ones.

"Ugh, okay then, do you think this is a nice, happy wig of sunshine?" Rosalie sighed.

"It's not yellow; it's brown, dark brown actually. You kind of look like Jessica because it's a little curly… I'll shut up now." For once, he said something smart.

"I. Know. It's. Not. Yellow. It is itchy and I miss my beautiful blondeness and it won't grow back 'cause guess what - I'm a vampire! And if Alice even things for one minute about making my hair into a wig and giving it to Bella, I will kill her!" The last sentence was directed to the watch.

Back in the house

"Bella, come here, I need to measure your head."

"What?"

Back with Rosalie and Emmett

"Uh, I'm sorry…?" His words came out as a question.

"Oh, you are not sorry yet! You'll be sorry, when I chop you up and throw you in a fire!"

"Rosalie, sweetie, there is no need to be violent."

"You…:"

"Here we are! Look, there's Lauren and Eric. Come on," Emmett said, trying desperately to calm her down, but she only growled at him.

Rosalie stopped. Buzzz! (**Don't know how to make a shock sound)**

"Ow!" Rosalie yelped, looking at her hand. "What was that?"

Buzzz!

"Ow! Stop that stupid hand! God, this is not my day. I'm painted a hideous color for half the night, my car gets hurt, my hair is shaved off and it will never grow back, my husband is getting married to Bella, and now my hand is possessed!" The crowd in the restaurant stopped and stared at her. She looked back at them and trudged over to Eric, who was drooling over her.

"How nice of you to join us, Rosalie," Emmett said acting politely. He was worried that soon his hand was going to start hurting.

"Yeah, sure, of course." Buzzz! "Ow. What the… it's the freaking watch. What are you doing to me, Alice?" Buzzz! "Quit it!" Buzzz! Rosalie scowled. "I'll be back."

Rosalie headed to the bathroom and took out her cell phone. Alice picked up a millisecond after Rosalie called.

"Hello?" Alice said, innocently. "Who is it? I'm sorry; I'm busy making a wig right now!"

"Oh, you know who it is! What are you doing to me you annoying freaky-haired vamp- OUCH?" BUZZZ

"What do you mean?"

"The shocking!" Rosalie yelled.

"Oh that, well if you don't follow the rules we will have to shock you."

"What? I followed every rule, I came here and I'll have to admit I did think about grabbing Eric and throwing him in the little river thing in that place Edward goes to, but I didn't do it! Are you reading my mind? HOW DARE YOU!"

"Do I sound like Edward to you? Right now, you sound like Esme! You weren't acting nice, so the watch shocked you … a lot. Now, go! I'm tired of seeing nothing but the bathroom wall through the camera!" Alice said and ended the call. Rosalie trudged over. Buzzz!

Rosalie muttered something, then smiled, and straightened up.

"Hello everyone, I just had to touch up my make up," Rosalie said with a really big smile.

"No prob," Eric said. "Here, have some coke."

"Um, no thanks. I don't drink."

"It doesn't contain alcohol."

"I DON'T DRINK!" Buzzz! "I mean, I don't really like coke."

"Well, Lauren, would you like to order something?" Emmet said, turning to Lauren. She just stared at Emmet.

"Lauren? Hello? Lauren?"

"What? Oh yeah. Uh, I'll have, the Flaming Fillet." She said, looking at the menu for a second and then back at him.

Rosalie glared at her.

**Let's use Edward-Vision and see what she's thinking!**

_I wonder if the Flaming Fillet will burn her mouth so much, she'll never be able to talk again. That would be soooo nice. _

**Why are we not surprised?**

"Hey Eric, Hey Lauren, Hey Emmet, Hey… Since when did you have brown hair? Are you trying to copy Bella? God, she's hot, but I mean you are hot too," Mike Newton yelled from across the room and then slid in next to Rosalie. Emmet got up and almost knocked Mike over for calling Rosalie hot, but Alice shocked him. Rosalie slowly turned her head to face Mike.

"I do not copy people, okay."

"Okay,,, So what are you guys doing here?"

"We are on a date, Mike, and are about to order," Emmet said as the server came over.

"Hello, I'm Jacob and I'll be your server today and hi Emmet, Blondie, or Brunettie…" (**Jacob's a waiter … hmm … would he look cute in a waiters uniform … thinking about it …)**

"Hey Jake, What are you doing here?" Emmet smiled painfully and wondered if Alice would shock him for being rude to Jacob.

"Just earning some money. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"We're on a date." Jake made an 'o' shape with his mouth. Emmet nodded.

"Well, okay then. So what do you want?" Jake said, taking out his pen and paper.

"Uh, Lauren would like to have the Flaming Fillet, nothing for me and Rose," Jake laughed and rolled his eyes. "And Eric…" Emmet stopped and looked at Eric.

"I'll have a cheese pizza."

"A cheese pizza?" Emmet asked. Eric nodded. "Okay, and a cheese pizza."

"Alright, your food will be here in five minutes." Jake took the menus and left.

"So…" Mike said, probably just wanting to hear his own voice talk. "I thought you two were dating?" He pointed at Rosalie and Emmet who both groaned slightly.

"I dumped her," Emmet shrugged wondering if this truth or dare game was going to destroy the entire town in the process.

"You dumped me? Uh, no, I dumped you and you were all 'Rose, take me back. I'm sorry! I know I'm a stupid, shaver of hair, idiot!"

"Are you kidding me!" BUZZZ! "Yes, that was exactly what happened…"

"Uh… shaver of hair?" Mike asked, bewildered. Rosalie glared at him. "Never mind. Well, I'm gonna leave now. The food's here."

**(Ahh, you just gotta love time skips. 109 words = five minutes. Whoever would have guessed?)**

"Well, hope you enjoy your date. I have a feeling you two are going to have to keep the conversation going," Mike said, looking at Eric and Lauren who were ogling Rosalie and Emmet. Mike rolled his eyes and left. Jacob then brought over the cheese pizza and the flaming fillet, which had a huge flame at the top.

Rosalie couldn't take Eric staring at her anymore, so just as Jacob brought over the fillet, Rosalie stood up and knocked over the fillet, so that the tablecloth caught on fire.

"ROSE! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Emmet yelled.

"Everyone, run out the door as fast as you can! Go, Go, GO!" Jacob yelled grabbing people and pushing them toward the door.

"It wasn't my fault. Jacob's the one who brought it when I stood up."

Jacob turned around. "It's not my fault leech. You randomly stood up."

"Can we just stop arguing and get out?" Emmet said. Rosalie glared at him. "Lauren, Thank you…. Where'd she go?" Laurent wasn't in sitting in her spot, neither was Eric.

"They must have left. Now, let's leave. We three are the only ones still in here and the fire is heading for the kitchen where all the gas is. This place is going to explode!" Jacob yelled. He grabbed Rosalie and Emmet and ran at his wolf speed.

"Hey, dog, let go. We can run," Emmet said. Jacob let go of them and they ran as well.

They soon stopped after they realized they were miles away from the restaurant. You could still see it, however. A few seconds later, the place burst into flames.

BUZZZ! BUZZZ! BUZZZ! "Dang it. It wasn't my fault!" Rosalie yelled at her watch and Jacob took a step away from her.

Alice, Bella, and Esme soon joined them.

"YOU KILLED THE DATE! AND THE RESTURAUNT!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN OTHER DARES!" Alice yelled.

"No, wait, no! It's was Jake!" Rosalie begged.

"Hey Jake," Bella said.

"Hey Bella," Jake said, hugging her.

Alice turned to Bella. "STOP HEYING! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE YELLING AT ROSE!"

"Oh, right, sorry."

"Hmm, Get with the program, Bella." Alice turned back to Rosalie. "You, you will pay!"

"Oh, Jake, when are you and Alice getting married? Is it going to be a double wedding with Bella and Emmett? I'm going to marry a bunny!" Esme couldn't contain herself any longer. It was surprising she could not talk for that minute.

"Hey, why are we getting married?" Jake asked Alice who looked like she really wanted to hurt Esme.

"Jacob. Black. If. I. Were. You. I. Would. RUN!" Alice yelled.

"Oh, merciful Alice, I have such need of your mercy now. Not for myself, but for Rosalie, for this is truly her hour of need. Deliver her from her trials ahead and I will pay you a thousandfold with any sacrifice you ask of me. And if in your wisdom, You should determine that sacrifice must be my life for hers, so that she can once again taste the freedom that has so long been denied to her, I will gladly make that covenant. My death will have a purpose. I ask no more than that," Emmet recited.

"Emmet, you should be scared too and stop quoting King Arthur. It's a wonder how you remember that whole long speech," Alice said.

"I thought that Emmett and Rosalie are married. Why is Bella marrying Emmett?? Can Esme really marry a bunny? Is that normal for vampires?" Jake asked. He had decided against running away.

Alice growled. "All three of you are going to pay, now." And then she smiled a very evil smile.

"Somebody's got a little bit a temper."

"Can I get married to a bunny now?" Everyone looked over at Esme in surprise.

"You already are married Esme." Bella explained patiently. Esme looked confused.

"To a bunny?"

"No."

"Then I'm not married."

"You have a wedding ring though."

"No, I don't."

"Yeah you … where did it go?"

"Where did what go?"

"The gold band on your finger."

"Oh, that thing? I ate it about three minutes ago. I was very hungry."

"Alice, is that normal."

"No, no it is not. On the bright side, we can probably get it back later. Bella, I think it's time for bed. Rosalie, as a punishment for destroying a perfectly good restaurant, you will read Bella bedtime stories until she falls asleep."

"I'm going to kill you."

**Next time: What can we do to Bella while she is asleep? Evil Laugh. **


	20. Who's Scaring who?

**Sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I was too lazy to do anything. Some of these prank ideas I got off of other websites, and tweaked them to fit the story. **

**Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah, blah … something about Stephanie Meyer … blah, blah, blah**

**When Bella's Sleeping, Hell Will Break Loose**

"Okay, so we're going to need a hammock and maybe some tape. How confused is she when she normally wakes up." Alice and Rosalie were going over plans on what they were going to do to the sleeping Bella. Esme was digging herself a hole to 'sleep' in outside and Emmett was somewhere in the attic.

"Rope, the tape will be too hard to get rid of later. She'll still fall, either way." Alice responded in a whisper, looking over her plans. Emmett was trying to sneak by them while holding a giant cardboard box.

"What are you doing with the box? Are you going to put Bella in it and ship her to Florida? You'll need to put holes in the top if you want to do that. And maybe something for her to eat. Can you give me some carrots?" Esme had given Emmett away. She had realized she was touching dirt while digging and had decided to build herself a cage inside.

"What's the box for Emmett?" Alice and Rosalie glared at him and he sat it on the ground.

"Silly string and plastic spiders."

"Were you going to do something to Bella?"

"Yep."

"Okay, come over and help us." Rosalie picked the box up and looked at all the silly string.

"Wait, go back up stairs and get us some rope and a hammock." Alice said.

"What do we need a hammock-"

"Don't question me Emmett, go and get it while I put all of her clothes in the freezer." Rosalie had picked up Bella's clothes and was walking to the kitchen while Emmett gaped at her in confusion.

"Esme, would you be a dear little rabbit and go set up some of lights and cameras in the meadow Edward and Bella go to?"

"Will there be carrots there?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying to me?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Esme picked up a few lights and three cameras's before running away.

"I got the hammock and rope." Emmett walked back down from the attic.

"Tie her legs and wrist together." Alice instructed, not looking up at him.

"Wasn't one of the rules we aren't allowed to hurt her?"

"Yes, but this won't hurt her, it will only freak her out."

"Alice, I made her clothes wet and then put them in the freezer, should I take the silly string out to the meadow?" Rosalie was back from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll take Bella and Emmett, you take the hammock." Alice stood up and picked up Bella who was in her sleeping bag. Emmett had already tied her wrist and ankles.

"Oh, Emmett, can I see your cell phone for a second?" Alice paused in the door way and Emmett gave her his phone. She changed his voicemail to something else and then set the phone on the table, beaming.

"What did you do?" Emmett and Alice were running now, going to the meadow. Alice smiled mysteriously.

"Oh, nothing. Emmett, why did we have an entire box of silly string in the attic?"

"It belongs to Esme."

"The box had your name written on it."

"No it didn't."

"Yes, Emmett it did."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes it did. Do you want me to paint you green again."

"Ask Rosalie, she'll tell you later."

"Okay, I won't forget."

"So, what was the whole cell phone thing about?"

"Oh, nothing."

**With Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper**

"Jasper, can you call Emmett to make sure there all still alive and that Forks doesn't know we're really vampires yet?" Carlisle asked. Jasper picked up the phone and waited while it ringed. To everyone's surprise, Emmett didn't pick up and it went to voicemail.

"_Hi guys, sorry we didn't pick up. We're too busy terrorizing Bella to answer right now. By the way, we're going to need a new hammock, and we're low on silly string and plastic spiders. Could you guys also pick up some rope on your way back? Edward, if you even think about coming home, I'll tell Bella that everything we're doing to her was your idea and she'll hate you for the rest of her life. Have fun on the rest of your hunting trip and we'll see you all soon! Oh, and Carlisle, I think Esme might have eaten her wedding ring. Not sure. Bye!" _Jasper was frozen in place, Edward was in shock and Carlisle looked confused.

"Did she say Esme ate her wedding ring?" Carlisle asked, wondering if vampires hearing could start fading after a certain number of years.

"Why would they need more rope? Why did we even have rope lying around our house in the first place?" Jasper was replaying the message.

"…" Edward was too shocked to say anything.

**In the Meadow**

"Can we blindfold her? That would really freak her out!" Everyone looked at Rosalie and shook their heads.

"She's going to be freaked out enough as is; we don't want to have to bring her to the hospital." Alice said, shaking her head.

"There are no carrots here! You liar! There's only dirt!" Esme screeched loudly and Bella stirred in her sleep.

"Esme you idiot! Everyone hide! Turn the camera on!" Alice grabbed Esme and hid behind a tree, Rosalie hid somewhere in the bushes and Emmett ran after Esme and Alice.

Bella yawned slightly and stretched in the hammock. She opened her eyes and screamed. A (plastic) spider was sitting on her face. Screaming, she threw herself out of the hammock and onto the floor, tangling the silly string in her hair. Then she started laughing.

"She's laughing, why is she laughing? She's supposed to be screaming, not laughing. Why is she … Oh. My. God. Emmett … whatever you do, don't move." Esme hissed. Back in the meadow, Bella was sitting back up. Alice had walked away from where they were hiding. She and Rosalie had picked Bella up and were brushing her off. The silly string and dried and now looked permanently tangled in her hair.

"Why not?" Emmett asked, looking up. Above him and Esme was a giant crate.

"What is that?"

"Ladybugs and dirt. Have fun you two!" Alice squealed, dropping cutting the rope that had appeared out of nowhere and dropping the crate on Esme and Emmett who screamed as the crate broke over their heads.

"Can we go back to the house? It's midnight and I need to sleep." Bella said. Alice nodded.

"Yeah, tomorrow is day two of truth or dare."

**Should I force Alice and Jacob to get married? **


	21. MARRIAGE!

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, that it took so long to update! School started back up and whoever's idea it was to give people five major tests in one week should be DEAD! But now I'm finally able to write again (all the notes hurt my fingers to much to type) so da-da-dada, da-da-dada! I HEAR WEDDING BELLS! Sorry for anyone who didn't want this but:

ALICE AND JACOB ARE GETTING MARRIED!

(Yeah, feel free to hate me!)

(And by the way, I don't really care how many laws's I break, it's a FANFICTION people)

"You dare me to do … what?" Alice looked at Esme in total shock and horror. Esme smiled, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"Get married to Jacob." Esme repeated, laughing slightly. Rosalie looked between the two of them like she couldn't believe Esme had dared Alice to do … that. But, Esme was insane after all; she couldn't really have known what she was doing.

"Marry … the werewolf?!?!?!?!?!? Don't you think that's a better dare for Bella?" Alice pointed her finger accusingly at Bella who was eating the pancakes Emmett had made. He had actually done a pretty good job … considering there were at least six half-cooked pancakes stuck to the ceiling.

"Don't look at me! It's not like _I _gave her the idea!" Bella glanced at Emmett who was trying to look innocent.

"Emmett Cullen! YOU gave her the idea?" Alice didn't know whether she was enraged or surprised.

"Maybe…"

"WHY?"

"We'll, why not? Bella and I are – Rose, cover Esme's ears – pretending to be married because Esme thinks we are, so I can't dare Bella to marry him. I don't think Esme even remembers being married to Carlisle at this point, so there's no reason to dare her to do it and I'm not daring Rosalie to marry him." Emmett shrugged slightly.

"SO YOU CHOOSE ME TO MARRY HIM? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU EMMETT CULLEN!" Alice tried to attack Emmett but Rosalie managed to hold her back.

"Calm down Alice, you two can get married and get a divorce as soon as the game is over. What would be worse, being married to a werewolf for a few days, or being painted lime green for a week?" Alice growled slightly but sat back down on the couch, glaring at Emmett.

"Fine, but how are we going to convince _him_ to marry me?" Alice demanded, picking up one of the phones that hadn't been thrown out the window and handing it to Emmett.

"We'll tell him that if he doesn't marry you, we'll kill Bella." Emmett said, shrugging.

"WHAT?" Bella threw one of her pancakes at Emmett.

"It'll be a lie! He just won't know that…" Emmett started to dial the phone but Esme smacked it out of his hand.

"WAIT, I'M NOT DONE WITH MY DARE!" Everyone in the room groaned.

"No, Esme, the rules say you can't do two dares." Rosalie said.

"Since when?"

"Right now! Now go sit down in that freaky nest you made yourself!" Esme huffed but walked back to the nest (see last chapter) and sat down in it, pouting.

"Call the dog now before I change my mind and make a run for it." Alice said, Emmett picked the phone off of the ground and dialed Jacob's number.

"Hey, it's Emmett. You have to get married to Alice as a part of the Truth or Dare game we're playing or we'll kill Bella. See you in two hours! No being late for your own wedding." Emmett hung the phone up before he got a response.

"Now, where's that other wedding dress you bought?" Emmett smiled evilly.

3 Hours Later

"YAY! I'm the mother-in-law of a werewolf." Esme was dancing around the room while Jacob sat on the couch, looking at her like she was crazy. Emmett was looking over whatever piece of paper that said that Alice and Jacob were now married. Bella and Rosalie were talking over what to dare Jacob to do now that he was apart of the game (Just you wait readers!) and Alice was seething in anger.

"Emmett, when this game is over, you are going to DIE!" Alice said and Jacob nodded slightly.

"No, I'm not." Emmett said. Bella and Rosalie had a cell phone now and looked like they were texting someone. Bella waved Esme over and she took the cell phone, looking at whatever had just been texted (is that even a word?).

"Ooooohhhh, Emmett's gonna kill you two!" Esme laughed.

"He's a little busy torturing the … happy couple." Rosalie said, smirking over at the two of them.

Next time: Jacob's in the game and Emmett's going to … what?


End file.
